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I attract crazy at the nail salon.

March 1, 2014 By Talya Tate Boerner 18 Comments

I attract crazy at the nail salon

It’s been some time since I’ve shared an honest to goodness nail salon adventure. It’s not that I’ve been holding back, of course not. Either things at the nail salon have evolved into oddly normal, or I’ve grown completely anesthetized to the typical shenanigans.

But last week it happened again.

I sorta brought it upon myself.

Sorta.

I felt blah with a cold/sinus/nasally thingโ€”not to the point of being contagious (although had I been, the salon and I could have called it “even” after last year’s semi-bird-flu nastiness which you can read about HERE). Lethargic from a lingering Nyquil hangover, all I wanted to do was relax in the vibrating spa chair while my toes received some much-needed-hopefully-end-of-winter attention.

I was the only customer and had my choice of chairs. Naturally I avoided Old Sparkyโ€”the chair that nearly resulted in my electrocution last year.

The gorgeous Dallas day was idyllic and the salon experience restful. I made it to the top coat and so far no one had dressed me up in Oriental wooden shoesย or anything…ย If only I could breathe...

“You wait here. Rest. You sick. Let toe dry,” my nail technician offered as she began gathering her pedi tools.

“Ah yes, thank you,” I agreed, restarting the massage chair and zoning out to my iPod. Just as I dozed off, it happened. The nail lady stuck some sort of peppermint essential oil swab up my stuffy nose!

It burned like hell.

I jumped.

I sneezed.

And sneezed.

And sneezed.

She smiled quite pleased to have awakened my sinuses.

And for a few minutes my head was unclogged.

Grace Grits and Gardening

P.S. You may ask why I always go back to this particular nail salon. I love it there, of course:)

Musical Pairing:

Nail Salon – Anjelah Johnson-Comedy Time

Gloria Campos, Alexa Conomos and Me

November 1, 2013 By Talya Tate Boerner 3 Comments

Saturday I went to the beauty shop for help with my Betty Draper hair. I say beauty shop because instead of my normal hair salon trim and highlights, my hair was curled and teased and ratted and encased in LOTS of hairspray. And to complete the look, a professional also painted on my 1960s eyeliner. 
Gloria Campos, Alexa Conomos and Me
most of my curls had already fallen by this time of night…

“Someone wants to see your hair.” The shampoo woman guided me to her shampoo bowl where a lady looked up with wet hair and said Oh I love it and are you going to a party, or something like that. We chatted a split second, but I didn’t say much because she was being shampooed and I was starstruck.

It was Gloria Campos.

Gloria Campos,Alexa Conomos and Me
Gloria Campos, WFAA

Gloria Campos is rather famous in the Dallas metroplex. For over twenty years she co-anchored the six p.m. news on WFAA Channel 8. Plus, twenty years ago we were both pregnant at the same time. She had twin boys. I had one. Without her knowledge, we’ve been bonded by pregnancy since that time.
Three days later, I went to my favorite neighborhood nail salon for a long overdue pedicure. There was one other customer. I saw her only from profile view. She was blessed with very long, lush, black eyelashes, maybe false? (I’ve been noticing eyelashes more since my Betty Draper eyeliner…) Then I heard her speak. 
It was Alexa Conomos, another long-time WFAA news anchor, the lady who made every crack-of-dawn-getting-ready-for-work-morning better for years.
Gloria Campos, Alexa Conomos and Me
Alexa Conomos, WFAA


Was it really Alexa? Probably not. I never really got a straight-on look. And she never noticed me, of course I was wearing a John Deere t-shirt which is only one step from camouflage.
“Was that Alexa Conomos?” I asked as soon left.
“Oh yes. You know Alexa?” Henry became animated.
“Of course! Everyone knows Alexa.”
In three days I ‘ran into’ two of the biggest Dallas news anchors. These random brushes with favorite, famous Dallasites has to mean something, right? 
a. I hang out in the best salons

b. They hang out in the best salons
c. We should be hanging out together.
d. They should be reading my blog.
e. All of the above. 

I choose ‘e’.

Maybe today I’ll run into Cynthia Izaguirre.

talya

Grace Grits and Gardening
Farm. Food. Garden. Life.

Wax Job

May 14, 2013 By Talya Tate Boerner 10 Comments

Mustache? 
What mustache?
After a few well-placed hints from my favorite nail salon ladies, I agreed to my first (and last) upper lip wax. 
As my lip was painted in molten lava, I ignored the smell of burning flesh. Like a wuss I wanted to change my mind on the table, yet I was paralyzed.
With one swift r-i-pppp, my baby fine, blonde lip hair was yanked from the roots along with the top layer of epidermis. 
For ten bucks, I exchanged an invisible mustache for a bright cherry red Kool-aid welt.
I know there are plenty of ladies who get more sensitive areas waxed, but for the life of me, I don’t know how or why.
WhatWasIThinking???

talya

Musical Pairing:

Gnarls Barkley, Crazy

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Hi! I'm Talya Tate Boerner. Writer, Reader, Arkansas Master Naturalist / Master Gardener, Author of

THE ACCIDENTAL SALVATION OF GRACIE LEE (2016)

GENE, EVERYWHERE: a life-changing visit from my father-in-law (2020)

BERNICE RUNS AWAY (Now Available!)

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