Yesterday at the nail salon I
a) nearly drowned
b) was almost electrocuted
c) both a and b
The soundtrack at my insanely entertaining nail salon yesterday was The Lonely Goatherd from The Sound of Music. You remember the song – Maria and the children sang it during the marionette show for the Father, the number with all the yodeling. The song was apparently stuck, playing over and over, but naturally I was the only one who seemed to notice.
The girl in the spa chair adjacent to me began talking to the customer in the far chair about her sugar daddy. This piqued my curiosity. She gushed on and on, having to speak loudly over the yodeling goatherd. “You will looooove my sugar daddy.” How brazen! People will say anything.
I pretended to play Angry Birds as I waited for the hot water to fill the bowl at my feet, nonchalantly glancing over at this girl with the sugar daddy from time to time. She had big Katy Perry eyes framed by very long, lush eyelashes. Was this Katy Perry sitting next to me? She had chewed up fingernails which did not pair well with those thick luxurious eyelashes. I wondered what her sugar daddy thought about that nasty little habit?
As the yodeling seemed to get louder, it became more difficult to eavesdrop. “I loved Fiji too!” she positively gushed with excitement. Well, I guess so. She obviously hit the jackpot. He took those gnawed nails to Fiji!?
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo.
Just at that moment water began to spew out from underneath one of the middle spa chairs like a fountain. It flowed across the floor around all the chairs. The nail workers began pointing and chattering and stuffing towels everywhere, attempting to sop up the rising water. As another lady began to mop and bail, everyone else quickly turned back to their buffing and polishing like nothing had happened, as if a nail salon flood was business as usual.
As the water creeped toward my chair, I felt the massage component inside my chair jolt and jerk a bit. Quickly grabbing the remote, I turned off the massage feature before I found myself ejected across the street into the Texaco station or worse. “You no want massage?” Kim asked me, looking dumbfounded. “I no want to be electrocuted!”
Amazingly, this flooded salon continued to seat new customers, wading them through the water as they looked around a bit confused. Maybe we should sand bag? Katy Perry’s friend tiptoed through the puddle of water toward the front to pay, careful not to make a wake. As she passed Katy she said, “I looove my sugar daddy. It’s the perfect shade of pink.” Dang. It was a polish color. I was NOT on top of my game. That yodeling was throwing me off.
talya
Musical Pairing
Tom Jones, “Sugar Daddy”
Julie Andrews, “My Favorite Things”
LOL!! your nail salon stories are THE best!
haha Thanks Kathy!
And, after all that, you almost got caught in a tornado! It might be time to change salons. You probably need to practice up on your yodeling so you can sing along next time. Loved the read. theBAT
I know! It was a crazy day.
Talya – Your take on the situation is totally understandable. I heard on the news a couple of weeks ago that Dallas ranks #16 in the US as the best city for sugar daddys (not sure how you spell the plural?).
Don’t know what cities made the top 15, but I will look it up if I need to relocate!
I want that job. I want to be the guy in a lab coat that determines things like “the top x US cities for sugar daddies.”
Where does one apply for that? 🙂
Thanks Constance! I don’t feel so stupid now. And yes, Gary, that would be a great job but it was probably a government grant.
Oooops! Sorry, you can tell I don’t do this very often. The last anonymous was me. Constance
I have to now hate you just a little bit. I HAVE THAT STUPID SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD.
It’s my own fault for watching The Sound of Music, but…YODELING. That’s all I’m sayin’.
So that song’s been stuck in my head for 2 days now. UGH!
Haha After ALL that plus the tornados, did you have a bottle of wine last night? Lol. Courtneysmum
You are a very funny writer and the photos are a bonus. No one noticed a stuck Sound of Music Goatherd song? That is just unbelievable.
Haha thank you and no, no one noticed the music. Each trip to the nail salon is blog worthy!