Humor - grace grits and gardening

The Man with the Hyena Laugh

February 9, 2014 By Talya Tate Boerner

Daddy’s latest beer-drinking buddy almost permanently moved into the spare bedroom. For several days and nights he ate our food, smoked Daddy’s cigarettes and watched his favorite shows on our television. Even though his beady eyes and piercing hyena laugh made the invisible hairs on the back of my neck crawl, I politely smiled and waited. I knew Momma would eventually tire of playing hostess and maid. Sure enough on Tuesday night, Momma threw a hissy fit and declared his vacation over while he stood at the open refrigerator wolfing down leftover Sunday pot roast. But like a stray dog, a few weeks later he followed Daddy home again.

Grace Grits and Gardening

This was written especially for Fearless Writing Alumni Practice. Prompt: 6 Sentence Story Structure from Sacred List Crawl

Musical Pairing:

Chow Down, The Lion King Hyena Song

The Sonic – Parking on the Cool Side

September 9, 2013 By Talya Tate Boerner

When I was a kid in the 1970s, our Sonic had a cool side and an extraordinarily uncool side. If Momma parked on the uncool side, my sister and I moaned, dunked in the back seat, and laid low until our Frito chili pies arrived. We truly believed our character and reputations could be boosted or ruined during the few minutes it took to wolf down an order of tater tots in a parking spot at the Sonic in Osceola, Arkansas.

When I began driving my own car, the highlight of Saturday night was circling the Sonic until a cool space opened. My best friend and I ordered giant Cokes, emptied them onto the sidewalk and refilled the cups with Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill. Or sometimes Kountry Kwencher. We thought drinking Boone’s Farm was a cool thing too.

Today I am much older. I realize I was far from hip. Even so, I can’t pull into the Osceola Sonic (now bigger, brighter, and new) without wondering if the coolness factor still exists.

And if so, could someone tell me which side is cool?

Grace Grits & Gardening

Musical Pairing:

Foreigner, Feels Like The First Time

Seven Signs You Might Be From Arkansas

September 5, 2013 By Talya Tate Boerner

Since I’m headed to the great state of Arkansas today, I offer you this timely reminder of what makes us unique. In keeping with the spirit of the Write Tribe seven day blog challenge (prompt: the number seven), below are seven signs you might be from Arkansas if…

(in no particular order)

1. At the end of each week your family’s heaping mound of dirty laundry easily sorts into three piles—whites, darks and Razorback red. Proudly, the Razorback load is always the largest.

2. You give directions based on minutes with no regard to mileage. Jonesboro is about an hour from Osceola.

3. Your momma taught you to never wear white after the opening day of dove season. Camouflage is acceptable any time of year.

4. You eat dinner for lunch and supper for dinner. Both include ranch dressing.

5. You become absolutely giddy at the smell of crop defoliant.

6. You have a cousin or uncle or brother or husband or child or all-of-the-above named Bubba. Or Bubba, Jr.

7. Calling the hogs makes you downright teary-eyed.

Woooo Pig Sooie!

talya