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99 Problems and Blake Shelton ain’t one of them.

November 13, 2015 By Talya Tate Boerner

99 Problems and Blake Shelton ain't one of them

Y’all. Right off the top of my head I can list 99 problems and Blake Shelton ain’t one of them. Real world problems. Things worthy of stewing over. Problems in my own backyard that need attention.

Confession: I got a little caught up in the whole Blake minus Miranda plus Gwen thing. Yes, I’m a fan of country music, and I mourned over Blake and Miranda’s breakup. I even blogged about it. But Wednesday night when my Twitter feed blew up and I read a bunch of hateful and utterly ridiculous stuff, I had to call a time out. After three days in a row of The Voice, (so much talent-Yay Barrett Baber!), I realized lots of people had plunged off the edge of reality. I was headed there myself.

I even found myself accusing Gwen of wearing her hair like Tammy Wynette to look a little more country than rock ‘n roll. Geez Louise. Just stop.

Tammy Wynette or Gwen?
Seriously.

99 problems…

  1. How about drought and lack of clean water?
  2. ISIS.
  3. The fiscal crisis in our country and everywhere else.
  4. The fact that 1 in 4 American children grow up without learning how to read.
  5. And we accept it.
  6. Who will we elect as our next President?
  7. Then there’s the gender pay gap,
  8. and how a lot of men I know probably don’t believe it’s a real thing.
  9. But it is.
  10. Crime is horrible, and we are numb to it.
  11. What about mentally ill people who need help instead of prison?
  12. Veterans and veteran problems.
  13. El Nino and climate problems and crazy tornadoes in November.
  14. Syria.
  15. How about the fact that in some corners of the planet, people go hungry.
  16. European refugees.
  17. People with no insurance.
  18. People who only want to live off social programs.
  19. People who have no choice but to live off social programs.
  20. What about those who have no hope. No belief or faith in anyOne or anything?

You get the picture. There are national problems that worry me. Third world problems that should worry everyone.

50. Meth.
51. What if we as a people have reached the end of progress?
52. No ones talks face-to-face anymore. That can’t be good.

Dot Dot Dot…

72. The Far Right.
73. The Far Left.
74. The death of common sense.

Local problems. Family problems. My day-to-day problems that really aren’t problems at all.

81. What if my cousin who just had surgery isn’t ok?
82. Why can’t I get my lazy self to the gym?
83.  What’s wrong with the gas burners on my stove?

More dots…

92. Is my armadillo gone for good?
93. Why isn’t my garage door opener working?
94. Why can’t I cut back on coffee?
95. What if no one likes my book?
96. What if I never write another interesting thing beginning with this post?
97. Why at age 53 do I even care what people think?
98. Do I worry too much?
99. Or not enough?

99 Problems and Blake Shelton ain't one of them.

The end.

Grace Grits and Gardening
Farm. Food. Garden. Life.

P.S. If you’ve read to the end and have no idea why I’m saying this, kudos to you for living above the media fray.

[tweetthis]99 Problems and @BlakeShelton ain’t one of them. Ok so maybe he’s number 105. #realnews[/tweetthis]

Musical Pairing:

Tammy Wynette, D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

NaBloPoMo

Filed Under: Humor, Life Tagged With: Blake Shelton, Miranda Lambert

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Comments

  1. cathyv says

    November 13, 2015 at 8:12 am

    I would have to add the “red cup” debacle! Definitely a made up “problem”.

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 11:22 am

      99 Problems and the Red Cup Debacle Ain’t One of Them deserves its own post. I agree!

  2. Rhonda says

    November 13, 2015 at 8:12 am

    Perfect list.

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 11:22 am

      Thank you and thanks for tweeting!

  3. Julianne Thompson says

    November 13, 2015 at 8:55 am

    I have seen a couple posts, but I didn’t realize it was such a big deal. Great list regardless!

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 11:22 am

      Yesterday I heard people talking about it at the grocery store and library.

  4. Laurie Oien says

    November 13, 2015 at 9:04 am

    We joke in my household about our first world problems. It really isn’t a joking matter, because when we complain about someone leaving an empty carton of milk in the fridge, it really is no comparison to what other people are dealing with in the world. At least we “had” milk in the fridge! Liked your list! By the way, I’m a Voice fan and a Blake fan too! Sorry to say, but we all know this Blake and Gwen thing won’t last. It’s Hollywood, after all.

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 11:23 am

      You’re right. There are so many bigger problems in this world.

  5. retiredruth says

    November 13, 2015 at 9:11 am

    Well, there’s enough fodder in that list to keep us all blogging forever. Its a great list and I am sometimes a worrier, too. I know where you are coming from. The world is kind of a mess.
    Enjoy your humor.

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 11:24 am

      Thank you Ruth! Feel free to use my list as writing prompts LOL.

  6. Barbara Tate says

    November 13, 2015 at 9:12 am

    Great blog and great list. ” The death of common sense.” This describes so many people today. Another one that stood out to me was #20: “No Faith.” ( I’ m not going to worry about Blake any more either. Lol)

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 11:24 am

      Until Monday’s Voice anyway:)

  7. Gary Henderson says

    November 13, 2015 at 9:21 am

    I think you can strike #95 off that list, as well. But I know why it’s there. 🙂

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 11:25 am

      I know you’re right. I can count on Momma and Carlene:)

  8. Tracy says

    November 13, 2015 at 9:21 am

    So funny…even my totally lacking pop culture knowledge husband is caught up in the Blake and Gwen story…he made the same comments about her hair. Jeez Lousie…funny stuff…thanks for tossing a little perspective in there!

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 11:25 am

      Thank’s Tracy. It’s pretty crazy!

  9. Dot says

    November 13, 2015 at 9:43 am

    Thank you! This is a great post. I really get upset and riled up about people getting upset and riled up! LOL

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 11:26 am

      I know, me too! Hence #74. Thanks, Dot.

  10. Renee says

    November 13, 2015 at 10:52 am

    Very original post, a great one, just as is the author ?

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 11:27 am

      Thanks, Renee. Remind me on Monday to turn off The Voice and turn on NBA basketball.

  11. Mark Price says

    November 13, 2015 at 11:32 am

    Yep

  12. Colene says

    November 13, 2015 at 11:44 am

    If it ain’t life threatening, it ain’t worth worrying about (unless you are an armadillo).
    P.S. #95 Not a chance!

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 1:31 pm

      🙂

  13. Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says

    November 13, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    These are all perfect and I can relate to a lot of the personal ones. I have to admit though, I WAS very curious about the Blake & Gwen thing. Is this a THING?

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 1:31 pm

      I think it is.

  14. Adrianna says

    November 13, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    how come people can’t just date one another when their marriages just went south? it doesn’t need to “lead” to anything. what’s wrong with dating for the FUN OF IT!?! since i am more of a gwen fan, i can say that she has worn her hair down like that before. she’s done the whole 40s glamour thing before … i actually thought she looked more like veronica lake … granted with a middle part.

    i agree with you wholeheartedly! i am caught up in it, but only cause i wish them both much fun and laughter with one another. i have other things to worry about and your list is a great starter. in fact, how about we just worry about treating one another better and not so much about tearing people down or saying hateful things.

    one of the best reasons i love to read your blog is that you keep things in perspective and in the positive. so much is wrong in our world, and it seems like the internet, political memes and websites disguised as news have taken over our common sense as well as our sense of kindness.

    and with that i wish you, your readers, gwen, blake and miranda happy days ahead filled with love and much laughter! <3

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 13, 2015 at 8:41 pm

      Well said, Adrianna! I just can’t believe some of the awful things people are saying and believing!

  15. Renee says

    November 14, 2015 at 7:24 am

    Amen!

  16. Tim says

    November 14, 2015 at 1:36 pm

    Awesome post, Talya, and I agree that there are a lot of jacked-up things going on in the world these days!!! Also, over the past few years, I’ve been an avid Voice fan…but this year, I’ve fallen off the Voice train, and I really don’t know why. It could be because my favorite singer never wins…or is it the Blake/Miranda/Gwen-thing? I DVR the shows so I can go back and catch up, and after reading your post here, I probably will…And as far as #95 goes, you can delete if from your list. Though common sense is rare, these days, I have enough sense to know your book is going to be a hit!!!

  17. Cindy Lu says

    November 14, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    Love this! Amen, Sho ’nuff!

  18. Dorothy Johnson says

    November 16, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Well, at least they’re real people and not soap opera characters. I could tell you a story about someone getting a little too riled up over that. (Just to be clear. It was not me!)
    Good post. I can relate to your list. Lots of my concerns appear there.

  19. John says

    November 17, 2015 at 7:37 pm

    Tayla….
    Absolutely.
    J

    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      November 18, 2015 at 6:45 am

      Whoa. A comment from John Gormley! Made my day.


Hi! I'm Talya Tate Boerner. Writer, Reader, Arkansas Master Naturalist / Master Gardener, Author of

THE ACCIDENTAL SALVATION OF GRACIE LEE (2016)

GENE, EVERYWHERE: a life-changing visit from my father-in-law (2020)

BERNICE RUNS AWAY (2022)

THE THIRD ACT OF THEO GRUENE (coming 2025)

Recent Ramblings:

  • Sunday Letter: May 25, 2025
  • Sunday Letter: May 4, 2025
  • Sunday Letter: Rainy Day Edition
  • Spiderwort: my love-hate relationship
  • Sunday Letter: March 23, 2025

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