I went to Northpark Mall in search of the perfect pair of jeans. My hairdresser Denise, who by her very profession is way hipper than I, told me of a place where they can size you up the moment you walk into the store. You will go home with the perfect pair of jeans, she said.
My little voice, the one that’s always spot-on-right, warned me the moment I looked inside. The glare from jewel-encrusted jeans and size zero tank tops and t-shirts hurt my eyes. Row and rows and rows of bling-ed up clothing were crammed so tightly in the tiny shop, I could barely walk between the aisles. The pounding music, heavy on the base, nearly shook the racks of gaudy jewelry.
Clothing.Sensory.Overload.
I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad shopping day.
I wanted to move to Australia.
I felt every one of my fifty-and-a-half years plus some.
I wanted to apparate straight from this dressing room to The Gap where I was considered Long and Lean before Long and Lean was discontinued…
Some days are just like this. Even in Australia.
talya
Grace Grits and Gardening
Farm. Food. Garden. Life.
Musical Pairing:
“I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day….Some days are like that. Even in Australia.”
― Judith Viorst, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Loved this. I hope I can still find my 16 petite! Wish I was in Australia this morning too. theBAT
🙂
One of my most favorite books ever!! I wish I was in Australia, too. 🙂
Thanks Christy! Me too:))
That’s why I shop at . . . JCPenney and/or Cato!!
haha…the things these trendy clothing stores do to sell pants, these days! There’s a clothing store at the mall in Franklin that reminds me a lot of the store you’ve described. Talk about feeling out of my element…haha…Also, the one and only time I bought GAP jeans, they lived up to their label name. My fairly new GAP jeans GAPPED up the back side (booty side) as I sat down in the car to go to my youngest son’s pee wee basketball game. I had no idea my pants had ripped until I got to the game, walked through the semi-crowded gym and up the bleachers to the top row where a lady friend, pee wee basketball Mom, and co-worker of my wife was sitting. My wife sat down beside her and as I maneuvered in front of them to sit down beside my wife, I heard an OMG and LOL.=)
Hate shopping days like that and avoid those kind of stores like the plague. The crazy music makes me insane. It’s a really good day when you can find jeans or whatever that fit and make you feel good. You have great style, keep up the hunt@
I feel your pain! Only from the short & curvy side! Maurice’s is my best friend! Your post made me LOL! Visiting from the linky party at AWB!
I found Old Navy Diva Jeans and oh my lord they changed me – I just can’t see myself wearing/buying shredded, blinged out, $500 jeans. Jeans are my yoga pants – that I wear every single day and by gosh they better fit and be comfortable. Have you tried Not Your Daughters Jeans? A LOT of people love those. And yes, sales people who don’t know how to deal with middle aged women drive me nuts.
I seriously don’t get the need for bling on the butt of pants. Maybe it’s the fact that I sit down in a wheelchair but really, why is that necessary? Thanks for the good laugh and I hope you found a better shopping experience elsewhere.
I’m right there with you! A friend was trying to get me to buy “Miss Me” jeans. My kids have too much orthodontic work for that. I wear Old Navy jeans from their $19 sale.
Oh my! This is, unfortunately, way too familiar. And too funny at the same time:)
Thanks for sharing it.
I feel the same way about shopping for jeans. I’m not into all that bling-ed out, weird stitching, low rise look. Why did mom jeans have to go out of style?
I hate trying on clothes. It seems nothing fits me right so I can so identify. Thanks for the laughs.
ugh. I’m JUST 50 and haven’t gone clothing shopping in years; having kids and being a SAHM I need little more than to order the bland from Land’s End. What a torturous day you had!
Sandra, I’m JUST 50 too. I hate to shop.