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Dallas County Jury Duty – part three

June 6, 2013 By Talya Tate Boerner

continued from…
Part One – Dallas County Jury Duty
Part Two – Dallas County Jury Duty

More frightening than the common-senseless juror is the overly-eager juror who does everything to be chosen…

Sitting quietly all day, she flies under the radar hiding lunacy while others display it like a favorite piece of jewelry.

Yes sir. No sir. Oh so polite.

When she is chosen, she squeals a cheer as everyone else curses bad fortune.

She is the scariest of all jurors.

On the morning of day two, we newly-annointed jurors waited around a conference table in the cramped deliberation room. Through the window an expansive view of downtown Dallas seemed distant. I doodled in my journal to pass the time. The bailiff would let us know when the judge was ready. We waited and waited and waited until almost lunch time. Overly-eager juror talked and talked and talked until almost lunch time.

What do you do?
And what do you do? And you? And you?
I think it’s soooooo funny they picked sooooo many women.
I LOVE your dress!
Has anyone ever told you that you look like Lucille Ball?
I love that Lucy episode with Ethel in the candy factory.
I love Betty Boop too.
And Felix the Cat.
Girl, that is the cutest purse!
Is everyone here a teacher?
Did you bring your lunch?
Did you? Or you? Or you?
I was so excited to have a day away from my babies…
I road the Dart bus, did anyone else?
Where do you stay?
When do you think we get our jury duty pay?
I got here early and drank some coffee, but I left money in that can for the baliff.

and the best line all morning…

Oh, I know the Judge. When I saw him I slipped down in my seat and didn’t dare make eye contact. I didn’t want him to recognize me. I just had to get picked.

What?!

Was she on drugs?

“You know him?” We asked in unison.

“Oh yes. When the Judge said he was from Longview, I remembered him.”

We exchanged nauseous glances.

“Wouldn’t that affect your judgment?” I asked rubbing that spot between my eyes where migraines grow.

“Oh no. I just knew I had to get picked.”

click here to read part four of my Dallas County jury duty saga…

talya

Dallas County Jury Duty – part two

June 3, 2013 By Talya Tate Boerner

If you missed Part One of Dallas County Jury Duty, click here to catch up…

mid-way through voir dire and hell…

“What would lead you to believe someone intended to distribute drugs?” the Dallas County prosecutor continued.

“I would have to see him selling the drugs,” came a shout from the second row. Almost everyone agreed with this disgruntled man’s retort. The momentum shifted as the prosecutor began losing his crowd. People were tired and numb and ready for happy hour.

“Anything else?”

Nope. There was no other way, according to two-thirds of the unimaginative throng.

I wanted to scream out if I saw little baggies of drugs spread out on his kitchen table, I would think he intended to sell.

Instead, I ate my last lemon drop.

The prosecutor read my mind. “Let me give you a scenario. What if you saw methamphetamine divided into baggies in his car, would you think he intended to sell?”

Nope. Not according to two-thirds of the crazed. Maybe the car wasn’t his. Maybe the drugs belonged to someone else. Maybe the drugs truly were his, but he planned to keep all the baggies for himself, for recreational purposes of course…

Oh sweet Jesus.

I wanted to scream out drug dealers don’t write their name on little baggies of drugs! Nor do they leave them laying around in someone else’s car!

Would anyone notice if I ran out for more lemon drops?