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Dallas County Jury Duty – part three

June 6, 2013 By Talya Tate Boerner 17 Comments

continued from…
Part One – Dallas County Jury Duty
Part Two – Dallas County Jury Duty

More frightening than the common-senseless juror is the overly-eager juror who does everything to be chosen…

Sitting quietly all day, she flies under the radar hiding lunacy while others display it like a favorite piece of jewelry.

Yes sir. No sir. Oh so polite.

When she is chosen, she squeals a cheer as everyone else curses bad fortune.

She is the scariest of all jurors.

On the morning of day two, we newly-annointed jurors waited around a conference table in the cramped deliberation room. Through the window an expansive view of downtown Dallas seemed distant.  I doodled in my journal to pass the time. The bailiff would let us know when the judge was ready. We waited and waited and waited until almost lunch time. Overly-eager juror talked and talked and talked until almost lunch time.

What do you do?
And what do you do? And you? And you?
I think it’s soooooo funny they picked sooooo many women.
I LOVE your dress!
Has anyone ever told you that you look like Lucille Ball?
I love that Lucy episode with Ethel in the candy factory.
I love Betty Boop too. 
And Felix the Cat.
Girl, that is the cutest purse!
Is everyone here a teacher?
Did you bring your lunch?
Did you? Or you? Or you?
I was so excited to have a day away from my babies…
I road the Dart bus, did anyone else?
Where do you stay?
When do you think we get our jury duty pay?
I got here early and drank some coffee, but I left money in that can for the baliff.

and the best line all morning…

Oh, I know the Judge. When I saw him I slipped down in my seat and didn’t dare make eye contact. I didn’t want him to recognize me. I just had to get picked.

What?! 

Was she on drugs?

“You know him?” We asked in unison.

“Oh yes. When the Judge said he was from Longview, I remembered him.”

We exchanged nauseous glances.

“Wouldn’t that affect your judgment?” I asked rubbing that spot between my eyes where migraines grow.

“Oh no. I just knew I had to get picked.”

click here to read part four of my Dallas County jury duty saga…

talya

 

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: humor

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Comments

  1. Mary Hill says

    June 6, 2013 at 3:02 am

    This series gets more exciting each day. 🙂 Waiting for the next installment.

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      June 6, 2013 at 3:08 am

      Thanks Mary:))

      Reply
  2. Suzy says

    June 6, 2013 at 3:13 am

    oh my that would’ve given me a headache. Enjoying your jury series. We have the same in NZ. I’ve been summoned once but luckily didn’t get chosen.

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      June 6, 2013 at 4:52 am

      Thank you for following along Suzy!

      Reply
  3. Lauralew says

    June 6, 2013 at 3:56 am

    I want to slap this gal and I wasn’t even there! Loving these tales, Talya!

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      June 6, 2013 at 4:53 am

      haha Laura! Hope to see you soon…

      Reply
  4. Angi Cartwright says

    June 6, 2013 at 4:07 am

    Been there to many times. Ugh!! Excuse me, Please.

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      June 6, 2013 at 4:53 am

      Angi, I bet you have better jury duty stories than I…

      Reply
  5. Angi Cartwright says

    June 6, 2013 at 4:07 am

    Been there to many times. Ugh!! Excuse me, Please.

    Reply
  6. Talya's Mom says

    June 6, 2013 at 5:08 am

    Oh, no! The plot thickens. I have enjoyed your jury duty tales, and I am waiting with bated breath for the next one. Miss you. Mom

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      June 6, 2013 at 4:21 pm

      Thank you BAT.

      Reply
  7. Tim Hardin says

    June 6, 2013 at 11:47 pm

    haha…This is hilarious! This lady is so gung-ho, you could title part four of this series, “A Call To Jury Duty,” if you want to. I haven’t applied for a patent on the title, yet, so please feel free to use it.=)

    Reply
  8. Backyard Chicken Lady says

    June 7, 2013 at 2:02 am

    Oh my goodness! You know I have never served on jury duty. I have always wanted to, but not in the same way Ms Overly-Eager does. I was a paralegal for nearly a decade and find the justice system fascinating. I am also a stickler for things being ‘fair’ so I would have been honored to do my duty. But I have never been called. My husband got notice when he was working out of state for two months. My daughter got called 6 months after she moved out of that state. My mother even got picked walking up the post office steps (the courthouse was around the corner and they didn’t have enough jurors in the pool to even start picking from). My aunt has served twice! And my brother was ‘excused’ because they asked if he could be impartial in a case involving a man who was accused of molesting his step-daughter over a period of many years…my brother (father of 2 daughters) said hell no!

    The closest I ever came was once when they sent me a jury duty notice. I was excited, but still did not squeal. Sadly, the Friday before jury duty (that was suppose to be on Monday) I got an automated call that the case had been cancelled so my services were not needed.

    You cannot simply volunteer for jury duty, because Defendants could easily stack the deck with their people if you could, so I continue to wait.

    You know, you can slip the bailiff a note that Ms Overly-Eager knows the judge and deliberately tried to hide from his view so she could get on the jury. Since she announced it to everyone, she wouldn’t know who tipped off the judge. Don’t know what kind of case your are getting but if this news leaked out afterwards, a guilty person could be set free.

    I will be anxiously waiting for the rest of this saga. Enjoy jury duty!

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      June 7, 2013 at 3:11 am

      Yes, that was my (and everyone else’s) concern – that the verdict would be thrown out if Overly-Eager really knew the Judge. Thanks for the comment! Funny stuff that your mother got picked walking to the post office! That would so happen to my mother:)) T.

      Reply
  9. Dorothy Latimer Johnson says

    June 7, 2013 at 4:51 am

    Best one yet!

    Reply
  10. Bryan Jones says

    June 7, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    Only You, Only You have enough presence of mind to write down the ramblings of the people you meet! Can’t wait for more!

    Reply
  11. Joyce Lansky says

    June 11, 2013 at 4:28 am

    If you’ve never been on a jury, you want to be picked to see what it is like. That would be me, without the obnoxious chatter . . . I’d hope.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

    Reply

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Talya Tate Boerner


Hi! I'm Talya. Writer, Reader, Arkansas Master Naturalist / Master Gardener, Author of

THE ACCIDENTAL SALVATION OF GRACIE LEE (2016)

GENE, EVERYWHERE: a life-changing visit from my father-in-law (2020)

BERNICE RUNS AWAY (Now Available!)

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