In Dallas County, four thousand residents are summoned for jury duty every business day. Four thousand…
On Tuesday, I received a jury summons. I was one of four thousand. Dread seeped from my pores. What a waste of time, time that could be spent scrubbing the bathroom grout or editing my book or rearranging my Pinterest boards. Anything but jury duty.
Yes, jury duty is important, a responsibility not afforded citizens of other countries, blah, blah, blah, yet still I moaned. And I was not alone in my groaning… One-third of the four thousand (who showed up) did their dead-level best to get out of serving by making outlandish, argumentative statements or by dressing like clowns and parading crazy around the courthouse. Or both.
Some people were exempted by just being themselves. (The difference between true and pretend clown is a fine line, hence the need for four thousand jurors…)
 nice jury duty hat… |
Around lunchtime, sixty-five of us were herded to a holding area outside a fifth floor courtroom for more waiting. This time there was no seating as though being able to sit would make us comfortable and therefore less serious about our duty. Attorneys and judges walked in and out carrying heavy file folders and hernia briefcases, serious and harried, as we continued to stand and wait. People grumbled about lack of seating and waiting.
Waiting was annoying.
We filled out questionnaires explaining our thoughts regarding the war on drugs. We disclosed personal information. The day became more somber as time crawled…
Late in the afternoon, voir dire finally began. For two hours we sat on church-hard pews while attorneys questioned us in an attempt to eliminate or at least minimize looney from the final twelve. The accused, seated next to his attorney, watched and occasionally smiled and seemed normal. He had likely read our questionnaires and knew more about us than we knew about him. I found this unsettling.
Seated on the last row in the corner, I was number fifty-one. Safe. Hidden. While secretly eating lemon drops, I prayed not to be selected, but since fifty-one was a high number, I was likely safe…Scanning the group of heads seated in rows ahead of me, I was confident twelve unlucky people would be chosen before getting to my number.
The prosecuting attorney began quizzing us… “In Texas, possession is legally defined as having care, custody or control of the drugs. Do you agree with this definition?”
Nope. Half the people in the room didn’t agree, primarily people in the first two rows... Hands shot up, heads nodded back and forth. One after another they argued, disagreed, made nonsensical comparisons, please can you repeat the question…
My tongue was beginning to swell from the lemon drops.
“Well, here’s an example,” the super-composed and personable prosecuting attorney explained, “do you agree that you still have custody, care and control of your television, even though you left it at home this morning?”
Nope. Half the people couldn’t make that leap. Half the people argued they didn’t possess their own televisions.
I wanted to disagree too or at least say something ridiculous, but my conscience wouldn’t let me. I knew I still possessed my television and furniture and a whole houseful of books, even though I couldn’t fit them in my purse with the sticky lemon drops.
I almost choked on the sour realization I.Would.Be.Chosen. No doubt about it. I was not nearly hidden or safe or crazy enough.
click here to read part two of the jury duty saga…
Grace Grits and Gardening
“The jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide which side has the better attorney.” Robert Frost
Oh boy. I have been summoned before, but wasn’t even called upon to come in. I guess my craziness scared ’em off, haha! I was quite thrilled. 🙂 On the plus side, since you will get chosen, it makes for great writing material!
So true. So many stories in that courthouse.
Talya, my entire life I have WANTED to serve jury duty but never have. They called me in St. Louis after I moved away, in Memphis while having a baby, and then again many years after that. I sat in a waiting room and was never even voir dired! I did mock trials and court room visits with many classes but alas have never been on a jury. Is wanting to serve so badly the secret to staying out of it? I’d love to walk in your shoes.
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2013/05/survival-of-cutest.html
Really Joyce? Next time I am called, you come pretend to be me…I serve every two years like clockwork and I am ALWAYS chosen. Next time I’m wearing my halloween witch hat.
I don’t get it. You’re not the first person I’ve met who is constantly called for jury duty and doesn’t want it. I was told I wouldn’t be called again for ten years, and I didn’t even get to serve on a jury!
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com
I think it is part of living in Dallas County. So many courts and cases. Once I’m on a jury, it can be pretty interesting. But the waiting is long. I’ve been on a few DWI cases that seemed silly. The guy pled not guilty even though his blood level was way over the legal limit. Cut and dry to me. He tried to claim the O.J. contaminated blood angle. Crazy…
I have been waiting on this blog. Loved it; you have a way with words.(The last time I was called, I filled out the paperwork, and then they sent me a letter saying they didn’t need me. I guess they got wind of my “record”.
I started to mention your record. I would have probably been dismissed right away.
Awesome! I tell you, I would have paid to be on the jury that I got called for….Girl (20ish) broke up with boyfriend and he went to the sonic where she worked and when she leaned in the passenger window, he allegedly grabbed her hair and took off with her for 20 hours (unlawful imprisonment). At least it wouldn’t be boring I thought! but no, thanks to be married to the courthouse mob, I couldn’t serve!
sounds like an interesting case!
I’ve only been called once, knock on wood, and I got out of it because I’d moved out of State. However, there is one case that I found very interesting while sitting with my middle brother in the courthouse, one day many years ago, while waiting for his turn to stand before the judge(another long story that I won’t go into here). A case came up where a man was wanting to plead innocent for murdering his wife. He said he accidentally shot her. The lady judge said she would take his plea more seriously if it wasn’t for the fact that his wife had been shot SIX TIMES!…Now, that right there is one of those very serious and non-hilarious situations that, because of the ridiculous testimony of the defendant, did a very quick 180 degree turn for the courthouse audience that day. It was a sad circumstance. It was a farcical situation.
another example of ‘the truth is stranger than fiction’…
Love the headpiece. Seems to be a cross between an Indian headdress and floral hat. I have never served on a jury, never gotten beyond filling out questionnaire. Once I was given date to call to see if I needed to show up, but when I called, I got the message there were no cases being tried that day. Guess someone settled. I was definitely conflicted about the time it would take, but I remembered a comment I once read, “Wouldn’t you want to be tried by a jury of your peers if you were in that fix? Do your legal duty!” Yep, I would want people like you and me on any jury hearing my case–may it never happen!
Yes everyone deserves to be heard although getting a group of regular folks is becoming more and more difficult it seems.