While Lucy and Annabelle took me for an afternoon stroll, we came upon two women chatting in the front yard of a red brick house. One lady sitting on the stone wall gripping her walker, the other playing with her towheaded grandson. They spoke to me and we made quick introductions. It was downhill from there…

Cheerful Lady: Your dogs are so cute! What breed?
Me: Miniature Schnauzers—the gray one is Lucy and the white one is Annabelle.
Negative Nellie: I tell you one thing, dogs are alot more work than cats.
Me: Yes they love their walks…
Negative Nellie:  Now, which house did you buy?

Me: The little green house just up the block. Two houses from the corner on Walnut. Kathy Thompson’s house.

Cheerful Lady: Oooohhhh I love that house. 

Negative Nellie: The one that always floods?

Me: uuuuhhhhh, no, I hope not…

Cheerful Woman: No it does not.

Negative Nellie: (cutting her short): Nope. That never comes up when you’re buying, does it? Floods every year, the whole entire neighborhood. 

Cheerful Woman: No, not every year. (eye roll & head shake) 

Negative Nellie: Yep, bet they didn’t tell you about that ditch either. Floods every year, flooded your house even (to Cheerful Woman)…

Cheerful Woman: It wasn’t that bad. Maybe five years ago…just a little water in the basement.

Negative Nellie: Shoulda’ stayed in Dallas where its flat. Never floods there does it?

Me: Well, yes sometimes.
Negative Woman: So what do you do?
Me: I’m a writer.
Cheerful Woman: Oh that’s exciting. You’re in the right place for writing.
Negative Woman: Yeah, I write too. Got lots of rejection letters. (laughing hysterically)

Cheerful Woman: Well it was nice to meet you (I sensed she was becoming less cheerful and looking for a way to break free.)

Negative Nellie: I’m gonna just follow you home and see which house you are talking about.

Me: Ok! (oh great…)

walking…

Negative Nellie: That yard I was in—that’s my daughter’s house. Gave it to her. She found herself homeless, so I gave her my house. I moved to (blah blah blah). Still thinking about the flooding problem, I wasn’t paying attention.

Me: Here it is. This is our little house.

Negative Nellie: Well, you call that green? That’s not green. That’s gray.

Me: Ummmm. Looks green to me.
Negative Nellie: Hmpf! I see you have that huge tree in your front yard—it’s gonna crash into your roof, I hope you realize.

Me: Well I hope not. We had it trimmed. The arborist said it was healthy. Why was I justifying anything to this sour puss? 

Negative Nellie: Well, let me tell you, the storms come in from this direction (swirling one hand around while hanging on to her walker with the other). Please don’t fall, please don’t fall (sour puss or tree)… Those storms are just the right direction to blow that tree onto your roof. 

Me: Well I hope not. (my standard response)

Negative Nellie: My daughter had a huge tree crash onto her back porch.

Me: Wow that’s too bad.

By this time, I was wondering what I would serve this woman for dinner.

Awkward silence.

Me: Well it was very nice to meet you.

Negative Nellie: Probably won’t ever see you again. Going up to Bentonville for a while. My daughter is having surgery. She told me not to come back to her house until she fully recuperates. I irritate her.

Me: Oh I can’t imagine that’s true.

She mumbled all the way to the corner…

talya

Grace Grits and Gardening
Farm. Food. Garden. Life.

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