grace grits and gardening - ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

Overcoming Meth in Arkansas

February 16, 2014 By Talya Tate Boerner

A few weeks ago I blogged about Ashlie Tolliver Wilson, a girl who lives in Northeast Arkansas near my childhood home. Ashlie is a day by day recovering meth addict who documents her journey on Facebook. If you missed the original blog post, you can read it HERE.

For six years Ashlie lived the life of a meth addict, hiding from herself and numbing her pain. She also wrote poetry during that time. Writing is great therapy and likely played a role in her recent fight for recovery. Ashlie wrote most of her poetry from a very dark place—she was either high or coming down. Her feelings directed her words, and her poems are beautifully haunting and dark.

Ashlie wrote the following poem on November 5, 2013. On that day she was 59 days clean. Her sober poems are beautiful too.

Overcoming

When I close my eyes

and shut out the pain,

my soul turns inward.

Trying to be perfect,

trying to be right,

I must fight these demons

that come for me.

I am not ready,

yet I must be strong,

determined,

steady in a battle I can’t win.

The enemy is myself,

my demons of sin.

I know I need help

but who can I trust?

Bound by chains of shame

which cannot rust,

I have tried everything

yet nothing has worked.

Do I give up?

Let go of the stress.

Let go of the hurt.

Lose myself to sin

and darkness.

Or do I rise and fight

for what I know is right?

Either way is difficult

yet I recognize my path

to a better world.

I’ll try my best

to win this war

and pass the test.

Although my life has just begun

this is my last chance.

A rising sun spreads

rays of hope over

my dark, cold world.

I am reborn.

My wings unfurl.

I soar above the pain

with nothing to lose.

Everything to gain.

Grace Grits and Gardening

P.S. Today Ashlie is 137 days clean. Go girl!

“The test we must set for ourselves is not to march alone but to march in such a way that others will wish to join us.”
― Hubert Humphrey

My garden: update after freezing winter weather

February 14, 2014 By Talya Tate Boerner

After two weeks of frigid temperatures including a bit of ice and snow, I visited my garden plot at Promise of Peace Community Garden. I was a bit nervous about what I would find. The last time I checked, a few kale and spinach seedlings had barely sprouted. Barely as in I had to dig around in the dirt to find them…

Yay! The pine mulch and freeze guard cover did the trick. Despite unseasonably cold Dallas weather, my seeds were happily growing. Some had grown an inch tall. These are the types of things that make me ecstatic.

See how great everything looks ==>

For the next ten days with temperatures in the 60s and 70s, things should really start to happen. I plan to plant more seeds this weekend.

Yesterday I met Natalie who was also working on her plot. Take a look at her design. I love the way she is organizing her space.

The first thing I always notice about Promise of Peace is the smell. The air smells green and fresh like spring and life because that’s what’s happening there.

Grace Grits and Gardening

Do you remember making Valentine’s Day boxes?

February 13, 2014 By Talya Tate Boerner

a snippet from my book (coming soon)…

Other than snow days, the only wintertime excitement was our class Valentine’s Day party. In fifth grade, we nearly lost the privilege because we were so bad. At least that’s what Miss Friend threatened each morning before first recess. The thing is, we weren’t any worse than we were in fourth grade. Or third grade. Or any grade. We were always the same, just older and bigger.

The real issue was Miss Friend.

She had no control.

After lunch when Miss Friend was worn to a frazzle, she let us work on our Valentine boxes. This was pretty smart on her part. The girls could sit for hours and hours gluing pink and red pieces of construction paper to the shoeboxes brought from home. Sometimes Miss Friend even brought out the red and silver glitter—an extra special treat.

Even though the boys didn’t care one iota about their Valentine boxes, they were quiet too. They could sit for hours squirting blobs of Elmer’s glue on their fingertips, and then pulling it off like dried skin.

Grace Grits and Gardening

Musical Pairing:

Be My Valentine, Vince Guaraldi Trio

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