When I think of Northeast Arkansas, I remember flashes and snippets from my childhood—Daddy’s cotton fields, Spence’s Store with icy Grape Soda, summer revivals at Brinkley Chapel.
Life was never perfect, but life was more than good.
Of course Northeast Arkansas has changed since I was a kid in the 1970s. Many storefronts are empty, rice fields outnumber cotton patches, and mosquitoes swarm thicker than lightning bugs.
A new Super Wal-Mart opened last year on the outskirts of Osceola. That was exciting.
Even with all the inevitable changes, I like to imagine home is the same. Our house still sits off Highway 140, and the same paperback books line the shelves of my bedroom. But there’s a dark side now—a burning black undercurrent that wasn’t prevalent when I was a kid.
Meth has spread like cancer through many rural areas of the country including Arkansas. Especially Arkansas.
Meth is cheap and available and can be manufactured in the back seat of a car, in a hotel room, A N Y W H E R E. A well-equipped Breaking Bad lab is no longer needed for the “Shake and Bake” coke bottle method. Ingredients are common. Crystal meth recipes can be found on the internet…
The problem is real and impossible to ignore. According to the DEA, Arkansas is one of the top three methamphetamine-producing states in the nation based on per capita figures. Instantly addictive meth seduces with feelings of invincibility and endless energy that quickly give way to paranoia, depression, and physical deterioration. We’ve all seen the lifeless pictures of rapidly aging addicts… Meth leads to crime, stroke, death. And here’s a sobering statistic: almost 11 million people have tried meth at least once.
Meet Ashlie. Ashlie Wilson is a day-by-day recovering meth addict. She lives in Lepanto, a little town just a few miles down from our farm in Northeast Arkansas. I don’t know Ashlie’s entire story, but what I do know is worth sharing.
120 days ago today, Ashlie summoned the strength to walk away from meth and her meth lifestyle. And she was heavily invested—cooking, dealing, using. She had reached rock bottom having lost her children, her will to live, everything. “Meth took me to places I never knew I could go. I got higher than high, and went lower than low.”
I don’t personally know Ashlie, yet I feel a connection. We have mutual friends and family, and although we followed drastically different paths, we call the same place home.
You’ll feel a connection too as you follow Ashlie’s inspirational journey documented on Facebook and told in her haunting, honest voice. Her comments are raw, her posts full of joy and optimism. She is grateful for a second chance (or third chance, or whatever chance she is living).
Day 116. I am so excited to be only 4 days away from my next monthly goal. I will be meth free for 4 months. So that is a very good thing… I am feeling a bit under the weather so today is probably going to be a short post. This just goes to show that not everyday in recovery will be spent feeling like you are on top of the world. I feel like I am coming down with the crud that has been going around. Yuck is all I can say about that. It is down days like these that only months ago, I would for sure use me feeling ill as an excuse to use. That is why I am so thankful that I was able to have a few months of sobriety under my belt before I got the bug that seems to be attacking everyone. …I haven’t once thought about the ole “quick fix”. Meth would for sure take all my aches and pains away, but the residual effects would be far to great to ever recover from. You see, that is one thing that addicts always want and that is a quick fix to every problem. They seek instant gratification so to speak. And meth gives you that, temporarily. After only a short period of time a person knows just how big of a mistake that they had made. I am so thankful to have been growing stronger in my recovery. I now know that getting high will fix my pain at this very moment, but down the line the pain will be ten fold. That makes me feel better just knowing that I am able to know the difference. I would rather sit here in pain for the rest of my life, than make the fatal mistake of using meth to numb any kind of pain. So today I will view as a test. Just to see if I would allow that ole demon meth to re-enter my life. Well the answer is “HELL NO”. In a way I feel a lil better just being able to vent. And to prove to myself that I have changed and that I am better…
Second chances are a good thing. One day at a time, Ashlie…
Grace Grits and Gardening
Musical Pairing:
Morning Has Broken, Cat Stevens
“Because this is what I believe – that second chances are stronger than secrets. You can let secrets go. But a second chance? You don’t let that pass you by.”
― Daisy Whitney
Way to go Ashlie,, I no your grandma Bobbie is so proud of you,,, keep up the good work ,, just remember take one day at a time and stay STRONG
Oh, this is so good, so well written. Our little corner of Arkansas has changed a lot in the last 20 years. So sad. My heart goes out to Ashlie; I hope she wins her battle.
Thank you for sharing her story, there are so many more it’s heartbreaking living here and seeing the decay of our hometown society……
I know it is. I wanted to share something positive. Maybe it will inspire others going through the same battle.
Yay for Ashlie! I will pray for continued strength and will power.
Ashlie is a very good friend of mine. Talya, she is Aunt Joy’s niece. I am so very proud of her! Great story! I love your work!!
It’s such a small world, isn’t it Karen? Thank you for reading and commenting. Love you girl.
Thank you Jamie. I know Ashlie will appreciate your prayers.
Talya,
This is the beginning of a great story, but for some reason, the photo is superimposed on the text, in my view. Could you email me the text? Thanks.
And I must say, there is life after meth, if our experience is any indicator. Read here:
http://arkansaswomenbloggers.com/kid-start/
Thanks for a lovely story, what I could read of it! 🙂
Oh, it fixed itself. Never mind! :-\
Ok good. Let me know if you need me to email it because I will!
I congratulate Ashley on her courage and determination to walk out of the shadows of the world of meth. Her raw honesty is her strength. The need to keep secrets is the biggest roadblock to overcoming addiction of ant kind. I hope she has a support group she attends regularly. Ashley is definitely going on my prayer list! Good post, Talya.
Thank you Dorothy. I agree with you. Being honest with yourself is the first step to overcoming any problem.
Of course, I meant “addiction of ANY kind”! Go Ashley!
WTG Ashlie! My brother was in the same place as her 10 years ago… cooking using etc! He’s now been clean for over 7 years and we love having him back! It’s not as prevalent in MN as it used to be, but Heroin has now taken over. Great post!
Thank you Sheena and congrats to your brother.
I have known Ashley since her Momma and Daddy brought her home. I named her!!!!!! She was a skinny little thing. Big Blue eyes and blonde hair and a smile that filled the room. Her struggles have been many, her tears have filed rooms. Then 120 days ago her life returned. She wasn’t aware of it yet but it did. Now Ashley has some time beneath her. Love will follow her everywhere she travels forever. I am proud of her, and sharing her story may save someone today or tomorrow or a day unknown to all. I pray that her inspiration will shower others for the chance to really live life, and value them-self first!!!! Of course with the help of the Higher Power that has touched her spirit. Ashley fly fly fly, start with a kite then grow your wings sweet child. I love you. Jane Claire.
Thank you for your comment. It’s nice to hear from someone who has known Ashlie since she was a child. I know you are proud.
This is a valuable post. I do hope it reaches people being tempted before they reach the point that stopping is so hard. I liked her “instant gratification” observation. Since our society seems to be all about instant gratification, no wonder drugs are so appealing to way too many people.
So true Lyn. Our society does demand instant gratification with everything. Sad state of affairs. Thank you for commenting.
I grew up between the Levy and the River on Corona Lake. Our house flooded so we abandon it.When we go back to the house sometime we see evidence of people using our porch for a party. A friend at a church in Wilson wants to start a home for troubled youth in NEA. Revivl is what will help the area.
There are certainly enough troubled youth to support something like that in NEA. I hope your friend is able to make that happen.
Thank you guys so very much. I never dreamed my story would reach so many places. I am so very thankful. I hope that I can save someone some heartache by being a guiding light for the Lord. I hope he uses me as a tool to help others. There are so many people that are just like I was and who suffer in silence.
Well said, Ashlie!
Thanks for allowing me to share your story.
It’s awful that meth has claimed so many towns across the nation. My own hometown of Eutaw, AL, has the same problem. In fact, the very neighborhood where I grew up housed a meth lab. The FBI, DEA, and probably several other agencies raided them, but they didn’t get everyone.
They were directly across the street from the elementary school.
That’s just one of many reasons I’m so glad my mother moved out of my hometown and now lives somewhere bigger. Safer.
It is very sad.
What an eye opener and a great tribute to this girl. A very sad and happy story all in one. Best wishes to Ashlie and her family. I am going to share this in hopes that someone else will benefit from it as well.
Thank you Colene. Sharing it is the best way to spread Ashlie’s story.
What an eye opener and a great tribute to this girl. A very sad and happy story all in one. Best wishes to Ashlie and her family. I am going to share this in hopes that someone else will benefit from it as well.
Meth has become a epidemic around my family’s small farming community in Missouri, too. It is wonderful that Ashlie is sharing her journey so others can believe they can be meth-free, too. Way to to, Ashlie!
Thank you Linda. Yes, Missouri is just as bad I hear.
Great article Talya. I wish everyone here in Mississippi County could read this. Meth is running ramped here and Ashlie’s Journey to Recovery is an inspiration to us all! I wish Ashlie all the luck in the world, and thank you for inviting her to share her story.
Thanks Edra. Feel free to share this on your page so more people will have the chance to see it.
I enjoy reading your articles. I too am from Mississippi Co. Arkansas. I moved away over 30 years ago. All of my kin is in Arkansas. Sometimes I wish I had stayed but , it has all worked out. Keep writing and I will keep reading. I am saddened to say, Meth is a demon that has touched all our lives one way or another. We all can ignore the problem or we can do what we can to battle it. Me, I pray.
Praying is good. Thank you for reading. I will keep writing.
prayers that Ashlie will stay strong.
Thanks Mrs. Graham.
Way to go, Ashlie!!! This is truly a touching story. I pray her story gets across Mississippi County and other places quicker than the meth does. I have lived in Mississippi County all my life and it seems like there’s more meth users than alcoholics. It is so sad. Keep ur head up Ashlie and think positive….
There are many addictions, whether it addicted to food, liquor, pain meds, or meth, it is an everyday struggle. Sometimes a person has to reach rock bottom to realize what really matters. Ashlie matters. She is an important part of this world. She has a story to tell that may help someone else that is struggling with the day to day craving of something that will kill you. It is hard to watch someone who has the craving of a drug. We really don’t know what to do to help. We need some kind of system to turn to that would be able for us to help our friend or love one. My nephew is now 100 day drug free from prescription pain meds. I had given him a choice of jail or voluntary commitment to Christian base facility to get clean. I tell him everyday that I am proud of him. He told me that he was so glad that I put my foot down and forced the issue. But to get him help was almost impossible. I will pray everyday that Ashlie continues to have the strength to fight her battle. And I ask that you pray for my nephew to continue his. I have seen so many of my family members hit that rock bottom and have turned their lives around. But it has been a daily battle and I am so glad they have given their lives to the God and now have the support of additional church family that is there to help them fight their battle that has been on going for at least 5 years clean now.
Thank you Karen. I know Ashlie will appreciate your thoughts. I will pray for your nephew as your family continues to recover too. And yes there are many, many addictions.
This is Awesome, Talya, and a classy move by you to post this on Ashlie’s 4 month anniversary since she last used. She picked herself up by her boot straps and decided to make a change in her life. She’s one of the bravest people I know, and I’m very proud of her. I know her posts are a way for her to daily work through her battle with addiction, but she also, unselfishly, uses her posts to help others who are users, as well as help their family members and friends who do not understand this horrible addiction….Besides writing her daily posts, she is also a very good poet. If you click on her ‘notes’ section on her Facebook page, you can read the ones she has posted there. I think they are amazing, just like her, and just like you for writing this incredible piece. Thank you, again, Talya!
I was happy to do this and hopefully raise awareness that it is possible to walk away as Ashlie has done. I know there are big things in store for Ashlie. Writing is such a cathartic thing – it’s good she is writing daily. All sorts of problems can be solved and issues can be worked through by putting pen to paper.
Everyday this lovely woman will need to know the love and support of those around her. I am so glad she has you.
Thank you Jacqueline. I appreciate your comment. She has lots of people rallying around her today:))
Hello, i too have been clean from this deadly monster going on 5 years. I also was raised into a very small town. I believe Ashley and I have crossed paths at one point during our darkest days. Some people don’t understand this addiction is no different than any other addiction. It’s a one day at a time recovery. Ashley stay strong and keep your focus on what’s important. Don’t give up! Relationships will be restored. I know your a mother and so am I. Just remember it takes time to mend those that are the most important. Not every day will be easy as I’m sure your finding out, but it’s all worth it! I’m living proof that there is Great Lord that gives 2nd (or as many as we may need) chances! KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND LET THE LORD WORK IN AND THROUGH YOU. God bless you! I will continue to read your post and pray for you.
WTG, Ashlie!!!!!! We used 2 blog back andforth in the Marked Tree paper. Your grandma Bobbie used 2 workwith my brother Sam at McArthur and Dentonl grocery store. Iive in Fort Worth, TX. U r in my prayers.
Ashlie
You have always been a beautiful girl and I am so proud of you! It takes great strength to do what you have done and walk away! I pray God continues to give you this strength. I will pray for you everyday! Day by day sweetie!
Lots of Love,
Sam
Thank you guys for all of your kind words of encouragement. I appreciate every single comment and welcome them. I am living proof that dreams do come true.
Thanks for sharing. Always like your stuff because it’s about real people, and good job Ashlie-keep trying!
Great job, Talya! So proud of you spreading the word about Ashlie’s story! So proud of Ashlie! Throughout my career as a mental health professional – spanning nearly 30 years now in the field – I have worked with many people having many different types of addictions, but this monster.(Meth) is one of the most addictive because of the cheap cost to make it and easy access. But it is also one of the worst things to kick. I applaud Ashlie for her desire and committment to change. I’ve seen this drug devastate families and has fast become the number 1 ‘drug of choice’ cause for a mom to lose her kids. Thanks for raising awareness, Talya! You keep up the good fight, Ashlie! You CAN DO this!!!