Meet Theo Gruene!

Hello friends! I think it’s time you meet Theo Gruene, the main protagonist of my next book, The Third Act of Theo Gruene. Theo has been occupying a huge portion of my time and mind during the past two years, so it’s only natural I would want you to know him too. AND, at the end of this post I’ve included a link to Chapter One!

You’ll be able to read Chapter One in its entirety, get a real taste for the characters, and decide whether or not it’s something you’ll like. Signed hardback and paperback versions are available to pre-order NOW by clicking HERE, and Kindle and hardback versions can be pre-ordered through Amazon too! (Paperbacks will be available on Amazon soon—there’s no rhyme or reason to the secret schedule of Amazon…)

The Third Act of Theo Gruene officially launches on May 20! 

Alrighty, here we go…

What to say about Theo Gruene?

Why don’t I let you tell him? I sent him one of those fun questionnaires you often see on Facebook (the ones probably used to hack our info-ha!), and his answers are below.

1. Where do you live? Fayetteville, Arkansas.
2. Favorite sport? Baseball, specifically the Arkansas Razorbacks.
3. Can you sing? Like fingernails on a chalkboard. I come from a long line of tone deaf people.
4. Have you ever skipped school? Never. I always liked school.
5. Have you ridden in an ambulance? Unfortunately, yes. Twice.
6. Marital status? Widowed.
7. Favorite breakfast? Bacon, scrambled eggs, toast with butter, and black coffee.
8. Last movie you saw in the theatre? It was probably five years ago, and I can’t remember the name of the show. Theaters are too loud, and it costs an arm and a leg to go, so I don’t.
9. Have you been to New York City? Yes. I even lived there for a while.
10. Do you have any tattoos? Nope. Never saw the need.
11. Beach or mountains? Mountains.
12. If you could travel back in time, where would you go? Midland, Texas. 1969.
13. Pet Peeve? Gossip and bullies.
14. Last book you read? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. (Yes, I’m an unlikely convert to the Harry Potter world.)
15. Do you have any hidden talents? I have a green thumb. Does that count?
16. Dogs or Cats? Either. When my wife was alive, we had two cats. I was recently adopted by a stray dog.
17. If you could invite three people to dinner, who would it be? This is probably a boring answer, but I would invite my parents and my brother.
18. Do you believe in aliens? Well, I’m a scientist, so I imagine other type of lifeforms are out there somewhere. I don’t believe in the stereotypical bug-eyed green men, but really, if they showed up in my backyard, I don’t think I’d be all that surprised.
19. Favorite junk food indulgence? Doritos. Original flavor.
20. If you were on death row, what would your last meal be? If I found myself on death row, I probably wouldn’t have much of an appetite. But my favorite food would have to be a cheeseburger and fries from Hugo’s. I like a good steak too.
21. What about desserts? My neighbor, Nita Johnson, makes the best raspberry shortbread cookies. She might bring some to me on death row, but I don’t know, that would be asking a lot of her. I wouldn’t mind a box of Crackerjacks for old time’s sake. Do they even still make Crackerjacks? I’ll have to check on that.
22. Are you an early morning or late night person? Early morning. I’m lucky to stay awake after nine o’clock these days.
23. Favorite Quote: “I hate rude behavior in a man. I won’t tolerate it.” That’s Captain Woodrow McCall from Lonesome Dove.
24. If you won the lottery, what would you do? Build a cabin in the woods, donate to some good local causes, and save the rest for a rainy day.
25. What’s your superpower? Detaching from the world. But I’m getting better at letting people in.

🌿

What Else?

So, yes, Theo is a simple man with basic needs. He prefers phone calls to text messages and books to movies. He doesn’t like to waste money or time. He doesn’t believe in magic, luck, or divine destiny, but he does believe in the power of nature.

Theo is an educator at heart. Early in his career, he taught junior high science in Mount Pleasant, Texas, and later, Botany 101 at the University of Arkansas. If I asked what makes him tick, he would say nature. Learning about it. Sharing about it. He can lose entire days hiking, gardening, or preserving plant specimens for the University of Arkansas Herbarium.

He never imagined being seventy years old and retired, but hello, life!

He never imagined being a widower, but that’s his station in life.

He certainly never imagined meeting anyone even remotely like eight-and-a-half-year-old Penelope Palmer. The kid is a regular Albert Einstein. From the moment she showed up on his porch during a spring thunderstorm, she knew how to push his buttons.

Penelope once told Theo he looked a little like Gregory Peck in the 1962 movie version of To Kill a Mockingbird. And I can see that, too. He’s tall and lanky, a bit thinner than Mr. Peck, but his hair is still mostly dark, even at seventy. And no, he doesn’t dye it!  (Penelope asked him that very question.)

Theo’s perfect afternoon would probably include a doubleheader at Baum-Walker Stadium.

Sometimes, he enjoys a finger of whiskey at sunset.

Sometimes, he forgets to eat! (Who does that? Not me.)

Theo bought his house because he was drawn to the massive white oak in the backyard. (His “thinking tree” as Penelope calls it.)

He is handy at home repair but tends to put chores off.

He prefers quiet to chatter, and believes most people talk too much.

He misses his wife with an ache that has never dissipated even after twenty years.

🌿

How about a REAL Teaser?

Click HERE to read the entire first chapter of The Third Act of Theo Gruene.

I’m crossing my fingers that you will want to read more!

Thanks for supporting my writing.

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Pre-order SIGNED HARDBACK or PAPERBACK

Talya
Grace Grits and Gardening
Farm. Food. Garden. Life.