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WANTED: My very own Geek.

October 18, 2016 By Talya Tate Boerner 7 Comments

Yesterday, if I’d stumbled upon a genie bottle with a real live genie inside, I’d have rubbed it, as one does, and when the genie floated out in a stream of purple vapor, I would have wished for only one thing.

My very own Geek.

Wanted: my very own geek!

Oh, what I would have given for the Geek Squad to pull up to my curb and spend a few hours with me and my slowing dying MacBook. I had almost reached the point of hurling it into the back yard, but I couldn’t because it contains so much of my life.

And how pitiful does that sound?

But it’s true. My life right now is wrapped up in my writing and photos and information crammed on my filled-to-the-brim hard drive that I can’t get under control no matter how many times I run the Clean My Mac program.

Because I’m no Geek.

Not about technology, anyway.

According to Merriam-Webster, the full definition of Geek is:
1: a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake;
2: a person often of an intellectual bent who is disliked;
3: an enthusiast or expert especially in a technological field or activity.

Really, Webster? The first definition involves biting the head off a live chicken?

Just for grins I dictionaried geek at Urban Dictionary, because let’s face it, Urban Dictionary typically includes real-life definitions of any word or phrase.
Yup. As I expected.

Geek: The people you pick on in high school and wind up working for as an adult. (Urban Dictionary)

See, this is what happens. I begin writing about my computer woes and end up inside the rabbit hole of Urban Dictionary  learning new and interesting vocabulary. Such as dictionaried. It’s a word. Look it up.

Anyway. I’m taking an online class through the University of Iowa, and an online class involves a working computer. So I can’t leave my Mac at the official Mac store for a proper analysis or drop it off to spend a few days with the magical Geek Squad.

Whine. Whine. Whine.

(Also called whineage and whinebagging per Urban Dictionary.)

So I called Best Buy to order up my very own Geek. But Geeks are evidently in great demand and the first available Geek couldn’t come to my house for days.

Because they’re all booked up at the state fair?

(Chicken head anyone?)

Change of plans.

I was forced to put aside what I intended to work on and attend to the annoying circle of death swirling on my computer. You know, that spinning rainbow circle that really should be solid black?

Circle of death
I had to be my own Geek.

I read articles and dug into the bowels of files. I uninstalled dictionaries in Chinese and Russian and deleted documents automatically backed up every second since 2012. I scrubbed my hard drive to the measly tune of 10GB which is at least enough space for me to work another day.

I still need my very own Geek because no matter how hard I try, I’m not one. Until I find one, I plan to set aside a few hours every week to do all these things I’ve been neglecting.

Moral of this story:
We do what we must because we can. 

Grace Grits and Gardening
Farm. Food. Garden. Life.

[tweetthis]I need a #geek of my very own @BestBuy @urbandictionary #bloggerproblems [/tweetthis]

Musical Pairing:
Portal – Still Alive

 

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Best Buy, blogger life, computer problems, Geek Squad, Mac

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Comments

  1. Barbara Tate says

    October 18, 2016 at 11:35 am

    Well said….

    Reply
  2. Gary D. Henderson says

    October 18, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    Two tips:

    1. Time Machine. Get yourself an external hard drive and back up your MacBook onto it on a schedule. Mine is every hour. I can only possibly lose one hour’s worth of work in the most catastrophic of catastrophes.

    2. The Cloud. I know, I know. But hey. For files that do not contain sensitive information (such as photos, music, etc.) the cloud is a great way to get them off your laptop. iCloud, Google Drive, DropBox, Box, Verizon Cloud…I have all of them, actually. 🙂

    But then I’m a geek. 🙂

    (Also, I doubt your at LEAST partial geekhood for quoting that song. 🙂 )

    Reply
    • Gary D. Henderson says

      October 18, 2016 at 12:18 pm

      Note: I meant that music and photos are NOT sensitive (like financial information). Also note that only iCloud and maybe Google Drive get the files off your hard drive altogether. The others merely make duplicates on the cloud, allowing you to share the files among several computers.

      Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      October 18, 2016 at 1:17 pm

      Oh but I do. I backup to the cloud and I have an external hard drive that I sort of trust but not really. And I have my important documents in Dropbox. But photos are the boss of me and deleting in one place deletes on the cloud so I suppose I need to move them to my external hard drive but then they seem harder to locate and then there’s email which I don’t get at all because on my Mac they are constantly reappearing when I delete.

      Mercy.

      Reply
  3. Lyn Fenwick says

    October 18, 2016 at 4:58 pm

    Dare I say…I am on the cusp of hating Windows 10. I am typing this on my old laptop because my new one with Windows 10 stopped delivering e-mails a week ago. I spent $1,000+ for a new laptop because I thought that was the best way to transfer to Windows 10, rather than loading it on my old laptop…and fearing they would stop providing updates for Windows 7. Spent my afternoon talking to a tech who was sweet but very hard to understand, then being put on hold because she could not resolve the problem, then being asked to enter a phone number for a call back then getting nothing!!! Boy, do I need a Geek too!!!!!

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      October 18, 2016 at 9:11 pm

      That’s so frustrating! Oh, we’re so reliant on technology, aren’t we. We should be like Isaac!

      Reply
  4. Dorothy Johnson says

    October 19, 2016 at 7:38 am

    I hope you get help soon! Too many beautiful pictures and words at stake.

    Reply

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Talya Tate Boerner


Hi! I'm Talya. Writer, Reader, Arkansas Master Naturalist / Master Gardener, Author of

THE ACCIDENTAL SALVATION OF GRACIE LEE (2016)

GENE, EVERYWHERE: a life-changing visit from my father-in-law (2020)

BERNICE RUNS AWAY (Now Available!)

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