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AT&T Customer Service Woes

August 18, 2013 By Talya Tate Boerner 12 Comments

This was written for The Writers’ Post Bog Hop #90 hosted by Cattitude and Gratitute – prompt: The Telephone…

Welcome to AT&T U-Verse. To continue in English, press 1. Para Espanol, press 2. For a list of other languages, press 3.

3. Holy Crap! (Hang up. Re-dial…)

Welcome to AT&T U-Verse. To continue in English, press 1. Para Espanol…

1.

Thank you. I see you are calling from 214-xxx-0000. Is this the phone number listed on your AT&T account? Press 1 for yes. 2 for no.

1.

Thank you. To better direct your call, I’ll need your nine digit ban number. Press or say your ban number. Or say “I don’t know it.”

I don’t know it. (Ban number? What the heck’s a ban number?)

Okay let me look it up.

(annoying outer space music much like background noise from a 1982 Atari game…)

Now, I’ll need to get a bit of information to better direct your call. Say the reason for your call. You may say something like “I’d like to make a payment” or “I’d like to check my balance.”

I’d like to speak to a human being. 

Sorry? I didn’t get that. I’ll need a general reason for your call. To make a payment press or say 1, for account balance press or say 2, for technical support press or say 3, for new service press or say 4, for a change of service press or say 5, for order status press or say 6, for billing press or say 7, to disconnect service press or say 8.

I’d. Like. To. Speak. To. A. Human. Being. (I’m tempted to say EIGHT and be done with it…)

That department is closed. Please call back during regular business hours.  Thank you for using AT&T.

(dial tone)

talya
Grace Grits and Gardening

One Ringy Dingy

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: humor

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Comments

  1. Christopher Mitchell says

    August 18, 2013 at 7:53 am

    I understood she was working for United Healthcare HMO.

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      August 19, 2013 at 4:59 am

      LOL

      Reply
  2. Sandra Tyler says

    August 18, 2013 at 8:31 am

    It’s enough to make you batty, isn’t it? Stupid as Siri.

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      August 19, 2013 at 4:58 am

      Yes. Siri makes me crazy too.

      Reply
  3. Gayle Glass says

    August 18, 2013 at 11:29 am

    That was one of my favorite Tomlin bits! Thanks for refreshing it! Strange, after all these years, it still hits home isn’t it? The more things change, the more they stay the same.

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      August 19, 2013 at 4:58 am

      So true!

      Reply
  4. Patricia A. Laster says

    August 19, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    Funny! Funny Tomplin! The AT&T stuff is right on.xoxo

    Reply
  5. Patricia A. Laster says

    August 19, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    Tomlin!!! Tomlin!!! I knew that didn’t look right.

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      August 20, 2013 at 6:31 am

      haha Pat. Thanks!

      Reply
  6. Corinne Rodrigues says

    August 21, 2013 at 5:08 am

    We have the Indian version and I’m sure you’ve been Bangalored! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  7. Kathy says

    August 21, 2013 at 6:39 am

    I absolutely hate those automated machines. They drive me bananas and you captured them in all their aggravating glory brilliantly!! I often beg for a human too. LOL

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

    Reply
  8. Afsana Tasbin says

    December 19, 2013 at 8:56 pm

    A fairly easy miscalculation below may instantly ripple right damaging organization graphic. The particular sky customer service phone number get could demand drastically wrong handle, or end up being provided for the drastically wrong day/time and so forth this also could become a substantial irritation towards the customer.

    Reply

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Hi! I'm Talya Tate Boerner. Writer, Reader, Arkansas Master Naturalist / Master Gardener, Author of

THE ACCIDENTAL SALVATION OF GRACIE LEE (2016)

GENE, EVERYWHERE: a life-changing visit from my father-in-law (2020)

BERNICE RUNS AWAY (Now Available!)

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