Archives for 2012

All You Need is Love…. and Chocolate.

April 17, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner

Growing up, my sister and I loved to spend the night with Uncle Rex and Aunt Frances. They lived in a single wide trailer at the edge of the cotton field on the home place, adjacent to Nana and Papa Creecy. Their trailer was surrounded by a little stand of pine trees which made it even more special. You were much more likely to see cottonwoods or pecans trees in Mississippi County, not pine trees. We played among those magical pine trees, collecting pine cones in late fall. I often wondered if Uncle Rex planted those trees, or did they grow from seeds that Nana tossed out her back door, like the beanstalk that grew from Jack’s enchanted beans. I never thought to ask anyone.

That mobile home was about the neatest thing ever. The huge console stereo spanned the entire living room wall and tons of albums filled the cabinet. We were allowed to play those albums unattended. I heard Patsy Cline sing Crazy for the first time in that living room. Staci and I played it over and over, placing the needle of the record player just right, careful not to scratch it. We sang along off key, while turning somersaults on the floor in front of the sofa. I was always amazed at how such a small home could seem so spacious and stay so tidy. But they had no children to mess it up.

I was a bit sad when they sold the trailer and moved to town to be closer to work. They both worked at American Greetings. In our little corner of Arkansas, if you weren’t farming, you were working at one of the factories on the banks of the Mississippi River. It’s still that way.

They were soul mates, practically joined at the hip. And at some point, they started dressing alike every single day. On purpose. They might both be wearing jeans and red shirts, or similar sweaters, but always the same color combination, as if they would be posing for a family photo after lunch. They even dressed similarly for church each Sunday. One summer they visited us in Dallas, sharing one suitcase crammed with matching outfits for each day of the trip. They discussed which outfit to wear each morning. It was cute.

John and I are not that cute, but we accidentally dress alike on occasion. It’s very plausible considering we primarily only wear jeans, gray, black and white… On those days when it does happen, I like to call him Rex.

Uncle Rex had two addictions – Frances and chocolate. And in that order. He was absolutely lost if he was separated from Frances for any period of time for whatever reason. When Frances was in the hospital, we really needed to go ahead and admit Uncle Rex – he was always beside himself with worry, making himself sick. A few years ago when she was hospitalized, worried that Uncle Rex might starve, the church ladies activated the casserole phone tree and brought food to the house, including a HugeChocolateCake. This was like a bottle of whiskey to an alcoholic. He ate the entire cake in one sitting. Having chest pains later that night, he ended up in the hospital with Frances, which is where he wanted to be. He’s the only person I ever knew who nearly overdosed on chocolate.

Uncle Rex died a little over a year ago. They were so blessed to have found each other, but what must it be like to lose your soul mate? Frances is heartbroken and lost and doesn’t know what to do with herself. A part of herself is missing. Sometimes she just gets in the car and drives, but never straying far from home. I wonder how she decides what to wear each day?

talya

Musical Pairings:

Patsy Cline, “Crazy”
Patsy Cline, “Fall to Pieces”

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. – Robert Browning

Where in the World is Barbara Tate?

April 12, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner

My mother has a love-hate relationship with the navigation system in her candy apple red Cadillac. When she bought the car, she attended 2 training sessions at the dealership to learn to use the fancy features. She may need to register for an entire semester. In her defense, the programming choices are completely nonsensical. Nothing about the system is intuitive.

Each time we drive anywhere unfamiliar, we play the navigation system game, first sitting in her car attempting to program the silly thing. After at least twenty minutes which must be estimated into the overall travel time, we head out. Hope always springs eternal. We are guided by the sultry voiced navigation woman, which Momma named Veronica, who immediately tells us to take the first right and make a u-turn. How can we be lost already? We are still in my neighborhood! Veronica always tries to make us drive north, and she is very big on u-turns. Is she trying to take us back to Arkansas? Maybe she thinks we always need to start at home base before heading somewhere new? Veronica has an evil mind of her own. I prefer to call her Christine.

A few months ago, I drove my mother to her cousin’s ranch near Italy (Texas). In her wicked voice, Veronica focused on u-turns the entire trip. To make the drive even more insane, Momma is convinced Veronica will not work without the radio playing. VeronicaDoesn’tWorkAnyway… She drones on and on providing erroneous directions, speaking concurrently with the satellite radio which is always set to the Elvis station. “Exit at the next right and make a u-turn,” purrs Veronica as Elvis croons In the Ghetto. It’s enough to make you drink and drive and pee your pants.

one of our many trips to the ranch in Italy

Once I am completely unhinged, I whip out my iPhone to navigate, which I should have done in my driveway before leaving. And at the same time, Momma calls her best friends at OnStar for help. She loves loves loves to call her OnStar peeps. I’m pretty sure when I’m not around, she calls them just to chit-chat and check the weather conditions.

“Is it you again, Ms. Tate?” This is how the OnStar people greet my mother now. They have all become buddies – probably Facebook friends. They have directed her all over the country as well as just across Dallas. She definitely gets her money’s worth with OnStar which is good, because Veronica certainly doesn’t earn her keep.

Yesterday, Momma was frustrated as she couldn’t remember how to post a picture on Facebook. I tried to text instructions to her. No go. I called and attempted to walk her through it. At last she told me she thought she had figured it out, so we hung up. I really think she was just tired of talking to me about it. Later I saw the picture successfully posted on Facebook. Yay! I bet she called her friends at OnStar to help her.

talya

Musical Pairings:

Sting, “Message in a Bottle”
The Clash, “Brand New Cadillac”

Hot Springs, Arkansas: Family Tradition

April 10, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner

Oaklawn Park, Hot Springs, Ar

Traditions keep families together. It’s the Elmer’s glue. Even silly things like boating around each summer on Lake Norfork in a non-seaworthy, faded orange boat. I’m glad we didn’t win that big bright red obnoxious shiny boat at Oaklawn Park in Hot Springs on St. Paddy’s Day. Talk about totally ruining a family tradition. We would probably have to act normal in a nice new boat.

Although, had I won, I would have jumped up and down, high-fiving the jockey who pulled my name from the hat, thrilled to death and excited for all of Oaklawn Park to witness. The lady who won gave a seemingly embarrassed, half-assed parade wave with a fake smile. That’s it. Pit-ee-ful. She wasn’t even wearing green. And I’d bet a dime to a donut she’s already sold that boat.

Even small things become important traditions, like having strawberry cake on your birthday and Friday night Tex-Mex.

Burchwood Bay

When we were kids we vacationed at Burchwood Bay in Hot Springs with the Barnetts and Jarretts, long-time family friends. The cute little cabins surrounded a general store with lake access waaaayyy down the hill. Craig (one of the Barnett boys and one of my very best friends to this day) nearly drowned my sister in that lake, throwing rocks at her from the bank until she couldn’t get back on the giant tractor inner tube. Daddy saved her. Craig was a menace.

The little store was our favorite – it was filled with candy and ice cream and postcards and tiny jars of Arkansas ‘diamonds’ and quartz. Yes, we played with rocks. But the best part – Craig said everything was free for guests! At the end of the week we discovered nothing there was really free…Craig’s daddy had a charge account. Oops. That general store is now Sam’s Pizza – we go back every year after a day of ‘feeding the horses’ for the best pizza in Hot Springs. The cabins are much smaller and the lake is much closer. Strange how that happened.

Burchwood Bay ‘then’

Burchwood Bay cabins ‘now’
Craig smashed a lizard in the door of the pink cabin…

We recently visited Craig’s mom who now lives in Hot Springs. Although she doesn’t get out much any more, she has an amazing view of the lake with fantastic bird watching. All the familiar pictures and furniture from her home in Keiser, where I spent so much time growing up, filled the comfortable house on the lake. Before we left she commented, “You can live a long time on memories.” So true.