grace grits and gardening

ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

Archives for 2012

Seller Beware

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Life after State Bank and Trust: I just made my first $9 on Ebay. Yay me!!  I was more excited about that $9 than my last real paycheck which is totally idiotic. But it took me a while to figure out how to list that Ebay item, so I worked pretty hard for that nine bucks. I already knew how to do my bank job.
Nine bucks is nothing to scoff about. I can take that $9, invest it in a high yield bond of some sort and after quarterly compounding in thirty years have $40, which is probably what the item originally cost. Gotta love the magic of interest compounding.
It was really my test run to see how selling on Ebay works. Oh I’ve bought plenty, but this was my first time to sell. I decided to sell a necklace I never wear, because it scratches the back of my neck. I’m sure it cost more than $9, but that’s $8.50 more than I would have gotten at a yard sale. And now its out of my house. I hate clutter.
Of course I don’t really have the $9 yet. According to my PayPal account, it may take up to 21 days for the funds to be available. This sounds sketchy to a former banker. I know about funds availability and this sounds like a Reg CC violation to me. The funds are coming from Tennessee, not China. And my buyer was Ebay “verified” so presumably a real person and not on the Terrorist List. So why so long? Time is money people.
Back in September, I tried my luck with Craig’s List, attempting to sell a bookcase we no longer used. This piece of furniture was becoming more and more valuable with each payment to the storage facility. My listing looked great with lots of pictures. I was thrilled to receive several inquiries about it almost immediately. One man asked to meet me at the storage unit to see the bookcase in person. Wait just un momento Mr. Craig’s List Killer. I know all about this from watching 20-20. I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. So I sent John to meet with this maniac. 
My potential buyer was driving in from the mid-cities. He got lost trying to find Dallas. John waited and waited for these people as I was driving my friend Craig (no relation to Craig’s List) and his wife to the airport. Finally, our potential buyer/killer showed up 45 minutes late. He and his wife/hostage/accomplice debated and measured and hemmed-hawed around deliberating the merits of this freakin bargain of a bookcase as if they were discussing financing options for their new home. It was well made and stylish and solid wood and trendy. It came from a hip store in Uptown, not that these people had ever been there. They couldn’t find Downtown. John patiently waited and sweated. It was broiling hot in Dallas, in mid-drought season and 100+ degrees in the shade. Finally, after wasting a much coveted Saturday morning, the picky wife decided it wouldn’t work for them. This bookcase which still sits in storage will soon be the most expensive item we own. It’s worth another $350 by now.
Maybe I’ll do better on my next on-line auction item, and just invest my first Ebay $9 in myself. I think I need a Whole Foods salad for lunch. I’ve worked up an appetite just thinking about all this.

talya

Musical Pairings:

Talking Heads, “Psycho Killer”
Blink 182, “Wasting Time”

Little Church Campers in the Big Woods

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School will be out for summer in a matter of weeks and parents will be shipping the kiddos off to camp somewhere. As kids, we went to church camp at Ravenden Springs, nestled in the Ozark Mountains. It was an idyllic setting. Just imagine Camp Walden, that perfect summer camp in The Parent Trap where identical twins Hallie and Annie accidentally met. Now take away the lake and fun activities like canoeing and horseback riding and archery and add tons of hellfire, brimstone and Kumbaya. AllDayLong. Now you have the picture.

Seriously, we had a great time there – lots of girls from our home town bunking together in one cabin – how can that not be fun? The beds were rustic, like a prison, but we didn’t care.  It was a one week slumber party! Toothpaste in the nose for the camper who fell asleep first, shaving cream fights – fun times! Who got the top bunks? That was always a big thing. We stayed up late at night writing letters to our friends left behind at home, as if we would never see them again. I’m sure we made it home before those letters. It was just a one week camp. 
But it seemed waaaaayyy longer. I knew it was a church camp, but I wasn’t expecting preaching 24-7. I thought it would be more like Vacation Bible School with arts and crafts and games and snacks mixed in. But in reality it was a very long church revival. We sang Pass It On until I wanted to pass on. “It only takes a spark to get a fire going…” If you’ve ever been to church camp, you know the song well. In addition to singing and preaching, there was lots of praying and crying and handholding. We would have slammed shots of Reverend Jim Jones Grape Juice if they passed it around and told us it was the right thing to do. The spirit moved us.
Our only non-church activities were eating 3 square bad meals, swimming (boys and girls separately) and one day of hiking up to Needle’s Eye and Devil’s Bathtub. Even on our hikes they had to work the devil in somehow…
At the end of the week, I was sooooo ready to go home to my real bed and my private shower and Momma’s cooking. The last morning after breakfast, we dilly-dallied around in our cabin, saying goodbye to all our new best friends. Finally, we decided to walk outside to check on our bus. That’s when we discovered we had been left behind. The Keiser Baptist Church bus left without us, and no one on that bus even missed us??? It appeared we were the only humans left. Church camp became eerily quiet. Did I hear dueling banjos in the distance? I couldn’t let myself become panicked – I was the oldest. But I bet this place was spooky at night, deep in the dark woods with all sorts unholy spirits. 

Staci, Lesa and I formulated a brilliant plan in no time. We would phone home and explain to Momma and Aunt Lavern that the three of us had missed our bus. They would have no choice but to drive up to get us. And then, once they got to camp, they would realize we were already half way to the lake.  We may as well go on to the lake. Right? Made complete sense. We always prayed to go to the lake, and it was the perfect place to recuperate from church camp.

the lake!

Just at that moment some preacher from Blytheville saw us strolling back to our empty cabin. After a bit of questioning, he realized we had missed our bus home. He and his small group were the last ones to leave camp, and we were forced to ride back with them. NO! There was to be no happy accidental lake trip. No singing Kumbaya on the return bus ride home with giggly friends. Instead I was crammed in the back of the preacher’s brown station wagon with a load of dirty laundry and a strange boy who cracked his knuckles the entire way home. Staci and Lesa were in some other vehicle.  It was a terrible ending to the week at church camp.  And after all that praying and singing, I just couldn’t believe this was to be our fate. Next year I was going to cheerleader camp! There was spirit there too.


talya

Grace Grits and Gardening
Farm. Food. Garden. Life.

Sisters

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Every girl needs a sister.

Yesterday was my little sister’s birthday. HOW did she get so old so soon? Staci’s 47 which means Lesa (our sister-cousin) will be 48 next week, and I am holding at 2 Score and 9.75 until July. I’m thinking 5, 6 and 7 years old was waaaay cuter.

Time flies. 

Me feeding Staci.
Staci was my first, best friend. Although when the stork brought her, I was a bit skeptical about our future relationship. She stole my thunder. The new cute baby syndrome ran rampant in our house. It was annoying.
Cotton Pageant 1970
We were thrilled.
I think Momma must have always wanted twins? For years, she dressed us like twinkies in handmade outfits. It was SOOOOO embarrassing. Especially when she made us model her home sewn frocks in the Cotton Pageant. We were never meant for the runway. Staci and I were much more comfortable playing with our matchbox cars in the dirt field behind our house. 
This picture of our Cotton Pageant experience was in the newspaper, and it speaks volumes. Staci, at 5 years old, is shooting daggers at the cameraman with those expressive eyes. Yet she has her hands sweetly clasped, as if she’s just biding her time before having a total all-out hissy fit. I’m standing uncomfortably like I’m posing for an awkward school picture. My arms and legs are braced as I wait for the perfect opportunity to vault off the stage and run all the way home from Burdette. I prayed NONE of my 2nd grade friends saw this picture in The Osceola Times.  

Staci had a Thomas Tate Temper when she was little. She threw tantrums at Big Star on more than one occasion, flinging herself to the nasty sticky floor, flailing her arms and legs. I never knew what triggered these meltdowns – maybe she was protesting our lack of store-bought outfits. Momma, remaining cool and calm, somehow completely ignored these outbursts. She lightly stepped right over her, grabbed a basket and strolled down the grocery aisle shopping for supper. I’m sure inside she wanted to slam a cocktail. I just stared at both of them,  completely mortified.
Thankfully Staci outgrew those tantrums pretty quickly. We continue to have hilarious adventures together, and nothing much horrifies either one of us anymore. Except maybe our 1980s big hair photos. 
HAIR.

“Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.” – Peanuts, Linus Van Pelt


Musical Pairings:


Rod Stewart, “Forever Young”
The Beatles, “In My Life”


Food. Farm. Garden. Life.

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