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burning down the house!

December 4, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner 10 Comments

Two months ago, our house nearly burned.

In the spirit of fiction writing, I exaggerate a bit, but it was a close call. I was in Arkansas and therefore not responsible nor a suspect. John returned from work to a smoke-filled downstairs. Dallas fire fighters paid us a visit with sirens blaring—it was that bad.

A basket of napkins smoldered atop the microwave, too close to a hot halogen light. 
basket o’ cloth napkins

What if John had worked late or gone to happy hour?
bottom of cabinet. nice.

The underside of our cabinet is extra crispy. Inside the cabinet smells of a rump roast grilling on a Weber. For hours I washed glasses, doors and shelves. 

I heated lemon slices which I thought might eliminate the odor.
With the kitchen door ajar and ceiling fan whirring for hours, a swarm of mosquitoes moved into our home, hiding in corners and underneath furniture. Yes, DallasHasMosquitoesYearRound!

I burned my favorite candle to a nub, almost starting another fire.
The citrus and rosemary chicken baked for dinner masked the smell for one episode of Mad Men. 
An open sack of Dunkin Donut coffee absorbed a touch of the odor, but smoked my favorite coffee.

I ignored it. I packed my car, locked the back door and drove to Dairy Hollow for a writer’s retreat. I became a witch for Eureka Springs’ Halloween, the streets filled with zombies and ghosts. Real or imagined?

In Fayetteville, purple and orange pansies grow where weeds once lived. I painted the last louver door! Thanksgiving at my sister-in-law’s—I only baked a pecan pie and potato casserole, a major departure for me.

Fearlessly, I wrote in the Ozarks, making new friends, thinking fresh thoughts.

Never once did I think about my Dallas kitchen, 350 miles southwest, smelling of forest fire mixed with Pine Sol. Yet,

ItStillStinks.

I suppose I shall be forced to paint. Ideas, anyone? anyone?

talya

Burning Down the House, Talking Heads

Filed Under: Arkansas, Gardening Tagged With: Dallas, Eureka Springs, Fayetteville, Fearless in the Ozarks, Halloween, home

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Comments

  1. Robin Loyd says

    December 4, 2012 at 8:29 am

    Kilz has a primer that id supposed to mask the smell. You might check out the paint department at Home Depot or Lowe’s,

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      December 4, 2012 at 9:37 am

      Kilz is my next step….ugh.

      Reply
  2. TimH says

    December 4, 2012 at 8:58 am

    Did you say anyone? Okay, then…haha…I would suggest Febreze, or a mixture of baking soda and white vinegar and lots of elbow grease to get the smoke tar off of everything that got smoked. Sorry, I wish I had a better and easier solution for I know there is no rest for the weary, or the road weary!…You might could have an Anti-Smoke Rally at your home and pass out Febreze bottles and rags to your volunteer workers…just sayin’=)…Anyhow, I’m very sorry to hear about the fire, and I’m glad for you and John that things weren’t much, much worse! You guys must have two awesome guardian angels watching over the both of you!=)

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      December 4, 2012 at 2:52 pm

      Yes on the guardian angels…:)

      Reply
  3. Lauralew says

    December 4, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Ye gods, Girl! I’m thinking what TimH says is probably your best bet. I had a minor house fire many years ago and it took lots of scrubbing and time to get that stench out.

    But at least I still had my family (happened in middle of night). I still shudder to think how much worse it could have been.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous says

    December 4, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Wow, you guys sure got lucky that it weren’t worse! sounds crazy, but you might get a little sandpaper to work the bottom of the cabinet over-kind of like scraping the grill off before you cook!

    Reply
  5. Staci Sandquist says

    December 4, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    How have I not heard this story until now. Are you sure you want to have Christmas Eve there and not here? Sounds like you are going to be busy.

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      December 4, 2012 at 6:13 pm

      It’s only one cabinet. The smell will be gone by then. I’ll see to it.

      Reply
  6. pittypatter says

    December 5, 2012 at 6:59 am

    Heloise suggests baking soda and vinegar for just about everything. Have you tried that? My first thought: Eek! I have a dish of paper napkins on top of my microwave, but no light, just the bottom of a cabinet. You’ll do it in time for Christmas Eve, I’m sure of it.

    Reply
    • Talya Tate Boerner says

      December 5, 2012 at 7:00 am

      you know me so well…

      Reply

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Hi! I'm Talya Tate Boerner. Writer, Reader, Arkansas Master Naturalist / Master Gardener, Author of

THE ACCIDENTAL SALVATION OF GRACIE LEE (2016)

GENE, EVERYWHERE: a life-changing visit from my father-in-law (2020)

BERNICE RUNS AWAY (Now Available!)

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