Setting: Expensive Dallas Hair Salon – Shampoo Room
Characters:
Myrtle –shampoo lady
Lottie– shampoo lady
Me- customer with dark roots, referred to as ‘Baby’
I recently visited the hair salon for my ‘fall color’. The two shampoo ladies at this particular place always provide a side dose of extra entertainment along with much needed highlights. In case you missed the story of my prior visit, check out Turning Gay.
On this particular visit when my shampoo time came, I ‘joined’ the following conversation already in process …
Myrtle – Girl he done kilt someone in prison too!
Myrtle– Oh yes he did. Only 25 years old too.
Lottie – Well he on his way straight to Hell. H E Double L. You do something like that and you going straight to Hell. No discussion.
Myrtle – Ummm hmmmm I know that’s right girl.
Lottie, to me – Baby you know that man we talkin’ about, don’t ya? He was on the news. That man that kilt that office manager and tried to kill his se-cu-tary too.
Me – Oh yes. Horrible. (I had no idea…)
Myrtle – People’s pitiful.
Lottie, to me – And Baby you can’t start trying when theys 9 years old. Its done over by then. You gotta start when theys little.
Me – You are so right.
Lottie, to me – If they act ignorant then you tell ’em to go sit down or get a switch or something. That’s what I did to mines.
Myrtle – I know that’s right.
Lottie – And now I gots 6 great-grand-babies.
Myrtle – She sho do.
Lottie – I don’t know why it gotta be so cold in here. Myrtle you cold?
Myrtle – It’s a bit chilly.
Lottie, to me – Baby you cold?
Me – No I’m just getting a headache.
Lottie, to me – It’s sinuses I bet. Bad time for sinuses.
Me – No, I don’t think that’s it.
Lottie – Peoples stupid, killing someone in prison. Pitiful.
Myrtle – He just looked evil. You could tell.
Lottie, to me – Ok Baby. You all done. I’m gonna put an extra towel around your head. I don’t want you to catch a chill.
Me – Ok. (Please just suffocate me with it…)
Lottie, to me – I don’t know why it gotta be so cold in here.
Me – I don’t think its cold at all…
talya
Musical Pairing:
“Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” – Johnny, Dirty Dancing
You good Baby!
🙂
Did she whisper “Hell” behind her hand like someone might hear her say it? 🙂
No Kaa, she just blurted it out – lol. Then spelled it for extra emphasis.
Do you write this down as it is said, or remember it later? Good fodder for a story or novel. Soon…….. pl
I SOON as I left the shampoo chair before my cut, I started typing it on my iPhone – a bit challenging, but I didn’t want to forget anything – lol.
I love that in the south, “pitiful” is an adjective that can be assigned to other people. You don’t hear this in DC, but sometimes it’s very fitting.
You know we overuse it in our family:)