grace grits and gardening

ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

Archives for October 2012

Words to Live By

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Setting: Expensive Dallas Hair Salon – Shampoo Room

Characters: 
Myrtle –shampoo lady
Lottie– shampoo lady
Me- customer with dark roots, referred to as ‘Baby’
I recently visited the hair salon for my ‘fall color’. The two shampoo ladies at this particular place always provide a side dose of extra entertainment along with much needed highlights. In case you missed the story of my prior visit, check out Turning Gay. 
On this particular visit when my shampoo time came, I ‘joined’ the following conversation already in process …

Myrtle – Girl he done kilt someone in prison too!
Lottie – NO HE DID NOT!
Myrtle– Oh yes he did. Only 25 years old too.
Lottie – Well he on his way straight to Hell. H E Double L. You do something like that and you going straight to Hell. No discussion.

Myrtle – Ummm hmmmm I know that’s right girl.

Lottie, to me – Baby you know that man we talkin’ about, don’t ya? He was on the news. That man that kilt that office manager and tried to kill his se-cu-tary too.
Me – Oh yes. Horrible. (I had no idea…)
Myrtle – People’s pitiful.
Lottie, to me – And Baby you can’t start trying when theys 9 years old. Its done over by then. You gotta start when theys little.
Me – You are so right.
Lottie, to me – If they act ignorant then you tell ’em to go sit down or get a switch or something. That’s what I did to mines. 
Myrtle – I know that’s right. 
Lottie – And now I gots 6 great-grand-babies.
Myrtle – She sho do. 
Lottie – I don’t know why it gotta be so cold in here. Myrtle you cold?
Myrtle – It’s a bit chilly.
Lottie, to me – Baby you cold?
Me – No I’m just getting a headache.

Lottie, to me – It’s sinuses I bet. Bad time for sinuses.

Me – No, I don’t think that’s it.

Lottie – Peoples stupid, killing someone in prison. Pitiful.
Myrtle – He just looked evil. You could tell.
Lottie, to me – Ok Baby. You all done. I’m gonna put an extra towel around your head. I don’t want you to catch a chill.

Me – Ok. (Please just suffocate me with it…)

Lottie, to me – I don’t know why it gotta be so cold in here.

Me – I don’t think its cold at all…

talya

Musical Pairing:

You Talk Too Much, Run DMC

“Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” – Johnny, Dirty Dancing

THE lost art of filing

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I once knew a lady whose sole purpose at the bank was filing. She was short, loud and knew nothing of the alphabet. A trip into her lair to root out a particular customer’s file became an often repeated game of hide and seek. She was known as Ms. Betty. (not really but similar)


When the bank moved into the twentieth century and converted to an imaging system, Ms. Betty became the point person in charge of scanning every single customer’s file into the computer system to be preserved for all eternity. And in what order.

At this point a file search became virtual. Much time was wasted trying to envision how Ms. Betty would scan a document. Could it be found according to the guarantor’s name, and if so his first name, last name, middle name, nickname? Or maybe it was located under the company name according to the largest word in the company title… If the company name began with “A” or “The” or “In” it was sure to be filed under the first word. Unless it wasn’t.

What would Ms. Betty do?

Last week a friend and I discussed this over dinner. He once had an assistant with the same confusing filing talents. Half of the filing cabinets in his office were devoted to the “T’s” for companies beginning with The. The United Way, The Dallas Morning News, The Whatever. 

Is filing a lost art?

 I remember learning how to alphabetize in elementary school. Do kids have too much to learn now to be bothered with filing? We had consumed just enough wine to call up my son at the University of Arkansas to quiz him.

Question to Son: If you were to file “The United Way” how would you file it? Under what letter?
Response: Mom, under “U”. Everyone knows you don’t file anything according to the article!
Wow. Proud Mom Moment. My friend and I were duly impressed that my son knew not only how to file, but he knew what an article was, and he used it in a sentence. I’m not sure I remembered that…

His private school education is soooo paying off.

Then he added…They don’t alphabetize according to articles on iTunes. 

Well, of course they don’t.

talya

Musical Pairing:

ABCs, Elmo Rap

Smoked Cheddar Cheese Grits Souffle

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smoked cheddar grits souffle
This is my favorite grits recipe. And we Girls Raised In The South love our grits.
Great as a breakfast food or brunch dish, it also works as a main vegetarian course for supper with a basic green salad. Add grilled shrimp or ribs with a side of collard greens and your husband will propose to you again. 
A perfect side with your Thanksgiving turkey. 
Very versatile, this is the most requested dish in my house any season of the year loved by my vegetarian daughter and carnivore son/husband.
Ingredients:
Serves 8
1 1/2 cups quick grits (the five minute grits)
1 pound of smoked cheddar cheese, grated (Tillamook is my favorite)
3/4 cups butter 
4 eggs, slightly beaten
1 teaspoon dry mustard
Worcestershire Sauce (to taste)
Cayenne Pepper (to taste)
•   Grate the cheese. This is the hardest part. I can never find smoked cheddar cheese already grated. And it must be smoked. And it must be grated so that it will melt smoothly.
•   Preheat the oven to 350F. 
•   Cook grits according to directions on box. (3 to 1 ratio works for me. 3 times the water as dry grits.)
•   Once the grits are done, stir in the butter. You can eat it now, but then you won’t be able to say you made a soufflé. Every southern girl wants to make a soufflé.
•   Temper your eggs. This means, pour a tiny bit of the egg mixture into the hot grits mixture whisking like crazy. Then pour a bit more. And so on until all the egg mixture is incorporated. If you pour all the eggs in at once, you will have scrambled eggs on top of your grits. If this happens, you may as well throw on a strip of bacon and call it a breakfast bowl like some odd dish at a fast food restaurant. Or start over.
•    Add cheese and stir. If you eat them now you will have cheesy grits – yum. Of course at this stage there are raw eggs inside. Some frown on this, but raw cookie dough (with raw eggs) has never killed me, so I say at least have a few bites. Plus you’re gonna want to lick the spoon. Like chocolate cake batter. 
•   Add the dry mustard, Worcestershire and cayenne to taste. I like it spicy, but a little goes a long way.
•   Pour into a shallow 2-quart baking dish. No need to grease because there is so much butter in the mixture. Bake for about 30-35 minutes until it sets.
You can add other ingredients to it such as chopped peppers, onions or a different type of cheese. But why? Everyone will rave about this. It’s that good. 

Give your farmhands (that is, your children) cold cereal for breakfast and see how many rows they hoe. Make them a pot of grits and butter, and they’ll hoe till dinner and be glad to do it. – Janis Owens, The Cracker Kitchen

 This is Day 5 (last day!) of BLOGtober Fest with Arkansas Women Bloggers. Theme (Foodie Friday) Favorite Fall Recipes…

Food. Farm. Garden. Life.

THANKS FOR READING!