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Land spreading out so far and wide….

February 27, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner

Daddy was a John Deere man. Never did he fritter away money on blue or red equipment – no Case or International Harvesters and certainly no Kobotas. Our lawn mower – which the Tate girls commandeered every weekend – was a John Deere. We even had John Deere bicycles. Fancy schmancy. We were green and yellow John Deere people all the way. Other brands and colors were only much slower imitations.

Tate Farm

My sister and I grew up on that equipment, spending entire days climbing on the gargantuan combines and dirty tractors out at the shop on the home place. If a piece of farm equipment sat idle, maybe because the fields were too muddy to plow or it was just the wrong season, we would claim that cotton picker or combine as our own for the entire afternoon. It became our submarine. Always a submarine – never an airplane or boat or tractor. We climbed all over the surface, up into the rafters of the shop, swinging from one side to the top. Amazingly, we never broke any bones or farm implements. But, if we could have figured out how to actually start our submarine, we would have driven it over to Little River. 


Daddy hired several families from south Texas each summer to chop cotton. One summer, Dallas equipped us with hoes, and we chopped with them. We were hoe’rs.  I know they must have been absolutely thrilled to have us in their midst. They were serious about their work, and quick. Speaking no English – at least not to us –  they were covered head to toe in long sleeve work shirts, boots, jeans and wide brimmed straw hats. It was freakin hot, and we thought that was idiotic. Laughing and singing to our portable radio, we wore our bikini tops and Daisy Dukes. We didn’t even wear hats – we wanted those natural highlights you only get from the sun.

We quickly identified the low spot with standing water at mid-field as our natural turning around spot. It certainly wasn’t our fault there was a huge area in the field with standing water – that was totally an act of God. So my sister and I chopped to the water, turned around and chopped back to the highway. The crazy farm hands went around the water and then continued chopping all the way to the ditch. We could barely see that ditch on the horizon! Daddy was not too thrilled with our progress – evidently we were slow hoe’rs. He should have paid us per row instead of per hour, but a deal was a deal. I’m pretty sure we never got that deal again. 

Mississippi County Cotton
The cotton that survived was harvested in the fall. This was one of our absolute favorite times because we loved to tromp cotton. We parked our submarines and spent every moment in the cotton trailers. There was nothing like seeing a full John Deere picker opening along side a trailer and dumping a giant load of freshly picked warm cotton. Sometimes we stood underneath the basket while the cotton was emptied on us like popcorn, then we climbed into the basket high up in the air to make sure there was no cotton clinging inside. Once it was dumped, our ‘job’ was to tromp it. We stomped it down, packing the corners of the trailer so that it would hold more. As soon as the picker returned to the field, we began digging tunnels in the cotton – long, deep, hot tunnels – totally un-tromping it. At dark, we went home exhausted, with cotton lint covering our clothes and burs in our hair. It was the mark of a great day.

I love the smell of freshly picked cotton. It has a very distinct smell that cannot be duplicated. If you’ve picked it, tromped it, turned head over heels in it, or napped in it, then you know. And you’ll always remember. It’s a sweet, clean, damp smell. It smells like cotton.


talya


Musical Pairings:


Creedance Clearwater Revival, “Cotton Fields”
Buddy Jewell, “Sweet Southern Comfort”

Stayin’ Alive

February 21, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner

Exercise has always been a part of my life. Not obsessive exercising, but enough to keep me moving and healthy. Each morning, Staci and I did jumping jacks with our mother watching The Jack LaLanne Show. He always wore that unattractive jumpsuit as if he was going to immediately leave the studio to run home and paint his front porch. I think he was attempting to emphasize to the 1960s housewife that she could exercise in her housecoat and pink curlers. No need to buy expensive fitness gear, just wear your camo coveralls straight from the duck blind. 

My mother purchased that Glamour Stretcher he advertised. She tied it on the doorknob and did some sort of leg extensions. I don’t think it worked, but Staci and I played with it sometimes. There was nothing remotely glamorous about it. And, whatever diet my mother was on – Staci and I mimicked her. By the time I was in 6th grade, I could quickly announce the calories contained in every single food off the top of my head like the Bible verse drill game at Brinkley Chapel. Had we spent this time learning a foreign language, I’m pretty sure we would have been fluent by junior high. We thought this was a normal life skill – reading, writing, calorie counting. We even knew how to weigh out our portions on her handy dandy kitchen scale. We divided up green beans like they were Godiva Truffles or gold coins making sure it was all equal stequal. At age 10.

One year Momma bought a silver sauna exercise space suit. She walked around in it during the day hoping to sweat off the pounds as she vacuumed. Ironing Daddy’s shirts, she looked like something straight out of The Twilight Zone. Staci and I didn’t have one of those, but we did wrap our legs in Saran Wrap a few times. I am sure Thomas Tate was totally unaware of this space suit.


Later, Staci and I exercised the old-fashioned way – in P.E. class at Keiser Elementary School, while Momma discovered more trendy methods without us. We played kick ball and dodge ball and jogged to the Keiser Experiment Station. She went to a ‘salon’ in Osceola that had vibrating exercise machines. All she did was lie there, and the weight was shaken off. While she oscillated, Coach Graham made us climb ropes in the gym. The ropes went all the way to the rafters high above that basketball court. It was terrifying, but we did it. Wilbur Irving could fly up that rope like a cirque du soleil squirrel – he was amazing. Now kids have safety ropes to protect themselves when they rock climb. We had nothing – just the rope. Coach Graham made sure no one hung themselves. 

In college, I moved on to those annoying Jane Fonda Workout tapes. I did them AllTheTime! I was devoted to those stupid tapes, watching her in that striped leotard with leg warmers that almost matched. Finally, someone asked to borrow my tape. I took that opportunity to move apartments, so that I would never see that workout video again. After Jane, I did step classes. With each step, I subtracted daily calories in my head. It was the only mental math that ever made sense to me.


The reason we signed up
for Boot Camp.
Last year, I idiotically signed up for Boot Camp with a group of my co-workers – mainly because Debbie C accidentally saw Dr. Bruce changing clothes in the parking garage. hubba hubba. (Dr. Bruce was the Boot Camp instructor, who also happened to be a chiropractor in our building.) After her detailed description of this sighting, we all jumped right on board like crazy people – paying good money to be tortured every other day. There were times none of us could pee sitting down because our thighs screamed so badly – you could hear the moans from the bathroom. We did mountain climbers and pushups and cherry pickers in the 110 degree Dallas heat, in thunderstorms, and during inclement weather. I’m pretty sure Dr. Bruce was a Jack LaLanne fan – he LOVED jumping jacks! And we ran laps with weights above our heads. It was intense. Sometimes we pulled hip flexors and hamstrings and actually needed a chiropractor to continue on with our lives. (See how that worked for him? He created his patients…) But, we shaped up while making goo-goo eyes. He is not human. 


Finally, I found my perfect exercise. Yoga. You don’t even wear shoes! It took me a while to find the right studio – Lotus Yoga  – but I did, and it makes all the difference in my practice. The benefits go well beyond the physical. I’ve learned to better focus and be in the moment. I’m more aware of my body and strength. Doing a headstand or working into a strong side plank pose is empowering. I always leave wanting more and can’t wait to get back on my mat. The energy flows in this supportive environment, and I’ve met interesting new friends of all ages, both women and men. Working toward Crow Position this morning, I felt that I could do anything – like even write a book:)


Namaste,

talya


Musical Pairings:


Bee Gees, “Stayin’ Alive”
Olivia Newton-John, “Physical”
www.lotusyogadallas.com
my mother’s motto

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

February 18, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner

It’s interesting being home in the middle of a “work day”. The neighborhood is totally different between 8-5. Until recently, I was at the bank during these hours and missed this time slot at home – unless I was sick in which case I was drugged on Nyquil. I love Nyquil. Although it makes me do crazy things sometimes…

Until I left my banking job, I never realized a yellow school bus drives down our street around 3:30 every afternoon. I find this strange in the inner city where we live, but I suppose this is very necessary – kids in Dallas are bussed all over the city in over 1,700 yellow school buses. I just never much thought about it. I always equate school buses to little rural schools out in the country – like where I grew up. 

Did you ride a school bus? I’m not referring to weekly basketball games with the team or the annual field trip to the zoo, but EverySingleDay in Elementary School? Because you lived out in the boonies? I was envious of those kids who lived in town. They were so lucky to walk to school.  I wanted to move into town to the new Keiser housing project and walk with my friends. Not fair!

Sandy Robinson
My bus driver:)
Riding the bus was traumatic. On the first day of school, my mother and I followed along in her car behind the bus the entire route, so that I would know exactly where Mr. Robinson was taking me each afternoon, before dropping me off at home. My mother was a saint to do this. Driving all over Mississippi County gravel roads eating bus dust for at least an hour and a half, while I’m sure I was begging to be home schooled. Had I only known about home schooling… After that first day – or maybe she did it for a week – I was forced to grit my teeth and ride the bus. 

My bus route changed slightly from year to year. Why, I’m not sure? Maybe a ditch flooded and a road was completely washed away changing the school district boundaries?? There were several years that I was the first person picked up – before sunrise. I watched for the bus from the back porch off the kitchen. I stood there and scribbled on the door frame in No. 2 pencil, “I am so sleepy”. My mother left my mark there for a long time before re-painting. I waited and watched each morning, nauseous the entire time, silently praying that Mr. Robinson had flipped the bus into Clide Barnett’s wheat field in the 7 minutes between school and my house. I didn’t want him to be injured or anything – I really liked Mr. Robinson – but I hated that school bus. But it always showed up, driving down Highway 140 in the dark, those unmistakeable bus lights glowing in the distance. I walked as slowly as possibly down our lonnnngggg driveway like it was a death march with my mother standing on the carport in her robe yelling, “Hurry! You’re gonna miss the bus!” I knew I couldn’t be that lucky. I just knew it was a matter of time before one of those rickety bridges we crossed would collapse with me inside. It was simple math. 
These kids were late for school.

After school, the route was reversed, and I was the very last child to leave the bus, well after dark, getting home after the evening news. It sucked. Never mind that the bus turned north onto Highway 101 ten yards from my house! I could see my house. I could practically touch my house! I was not allowed to get off until we circled the entire county and looped back on Highway 140 directly in front of my driveway. I wanted to scream every afternoon “Let me off!!! My house is right there!” as we turned in the opposite direction. I could have an extra hour and a half to watch I Dream of Jeannie or Gilligan or read. I considered opening that emergency door in the back of the bus but would an alarm sound?

WHAT, pray tell, was my mother doing during this time? Why couldn’t she drive me to school? A mere 7 minute drive – 14 round trip – compared to 3 hours per day I was spending in that dusty bus!!! I knew very well that she drove to Keiser every single day for groceries and gossip… She could easily do that in the morning after dropping me off. I was totally on to her. Later, when I became a mother of two small children, I understood that this was, of course, extra free baby sitting time for my mother, courtesy of the MissCo School District. But I’m still just a tad bitter. 

Some years for whatever reason, I was the last person picked up in the morning. This allowed me more time to sleep, which was a nice perk; however, by the time I boarded, the bus was crammed packed with wild kids – some had been on the bus for nearly 2 hours – and there was no place to even think about sitting. For a shy kid like me, this was distressing.  I only had to brace my legs and hold on to the back of a seat for 7 minutes, trying my best not to fall into the nasty aisle. Add to this, the certain group of mean girls (who shall remain nameless), who rifled through my purse every single morning and stole my milk money. Sometimes I just handed over my milk money each morning as I boarded – like bus fare. I hated milk anyway. But I hid my lunch  money in my saddle oxford so the mean girls would not know. I loved lunch. Mr. Robinson, our bus driver, had to know this was going on, but he let us deal with our own issues. Kids fought their own battles then…not that I ever fought.

With this LIFO bus route, they finally let me get off first in the afternoon at that Highway 101 intersection. I walked through the ditch and over into our yard, adding months and possibly years to my life. I would gladly let the mean girls have my purse each morning to get home by 4:00 instead of 6:00.

Today, as that bus drives by my house each afternoon I wonder about those kids inside. The buses are probably different now with cameras for the driver to maintain control. Those kids probably each have an iPhone which keeps them busy playing Angry Birds and texting. Or maybe they too are traumatized trying to keep their seat mate from stealing their $250 Livestrong Air Max Nikes. 

talya

Musical Pairings:

Brownsville Station, “Smokin’ in the Boy’s Room”
Cat Stevens, “Old Schoolyard”

“Even to this day, when I see a school bus it’s just depressing to me. The poor little kids.” Dolly Parton
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Hi! I'm Talya Tate Boerner. Writer, Reader, Arkansas Master Naturalist / Master Gardener, Author of

THE ACCIDENTAL SALVATION OF GRACIE LEE (2016)

GENE, EVERYWHERE: a life-changing visit from my father-in-law (2020)

BERNICE RUNS AWAY (2022)

THE THIRD ACT OF THEO GRUENE (coming 2025)

Recent Ramblings:

  • Sunday Letter: 11.23.25
  • Maggie and Miss Ladybug: My New Children’s Nature Book
  • Sunday Letter: November 9, 2025
  • Sunday Letter: Oct 26, 2025
  • Sunday Letter: Oct 5, 2025

Novels:

Coloring Books:

Fiction-Themed Coloring Books

Backyard Phenology:

Children’s Nature Book:

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