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Little Yellow Corvette

April 5, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner

When my Daddy went through his mid-life crisis, he bought a yellow corvette. To justify this purchase, he gave her to me. At 14-and-a-half, I was too young to drive, even in Arkansas. My driving lessons had been limited to dirt farm roads surrounded by cotton fields with Momma slamming her foot on the passenger side imaginary brake. But even so, he let me drive the corvette down Highway 140 to Cottonwood Corner to buy his packs of unfiltered Camels. Something wrong with this picture? Underage driving + cigarette buying? Suh-weeet.

She was low to the ground and fun to drive. And thinking back, maybe there was a method to his mid-life madness. The inside was cramped like a clown car, leaving very little room for hauling loads of friends around. And she was a police magnet so speeding was not often possible. There was just no sneaking around in that Stingray. She lit up like a beacon, a tracking device before GPS. Momma could probably look out the back bedroom window and see my car leaving the high school parking lot at exactly 3:05 p.m. eight miles away on I-55. The land spread out flat and far and wide, much like West Texas without the tumbleweeds and dust storms. You could almost see the curvature of the earth, making the bright yellow corvette easily visible from the next county. We glowed in the dark.

One night at the supper table, Daddy confessed he spent the entire afternoon, when he should have been farming, following a bright yellow corvette all over the county, back around Evadale, over the levee, certain I had skipped school. He seemed oddly excited about catching me red-handed ditching school, obviously up to no good, a chip off the old block. When he finally caught up with the speeding car, the joke was on him. It wasn’t me. It was some confused man who likely would have called 9-1-1 had cell phones been around then. And Daddy so deserved it! He just expected for me to screw up, anticipating his overdue payback for the trauma he must have caused his own parents. I was safe and sound at Rivercrest with my car in the parking lot where she belonged.  We NEVER skipped a day of school. Not high school anyway. School was the most exciting thing we had to do, so what would be the point of that? 

Then Daddy bought that 2nd yellow corvette for my sister.  Probably so he could watch both of us from afar. Now we had 2 highlighter yellow corvettes, nearly identical twins, and we drove both of them to Baylor University during our one overlapping semester. Two groovy yellow corvettes at Baylor with Arkansas plates was quite the conversation starter, and Baylor was one of few schools that truly appreciated the shocking color. Really, where else could we go? Oregon maybe? That year driving home for Christmas break, following each other, a cop pulled us both over simultaneously near Texarkana, just to chat. He wanted to know the story of our two twinkie corvettes. 

This was the only bright yellow thing I ever wore. Momma taught me from a very early age that yellow was just not my color. Even so, I had many adventures in that car including an entire day spent at the Dairy Queen in Italy, Texas – home of Willie Nelson. That’s very appropriately where she decided to give out. Daddy eventually sold her to a man in Dallas in the mid-80s. Small world. I still look for her around the city. She’s probably looking for me too.
talya

Musical Pairings:

The Beatles, “Drive My Car”
George Jones, “The One I Loved Back Then (The Corvette Song)”

Shall we gather at the river?

March 30, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner

Woodrow Johnson - Johnson Family, Little River
Uncle Woody
Woodrow Johnson

Once upon a time not so very long ago, there was a mystical headless horseman who silently rode along the banks of Little River at dusk. Sitting atop an enormous horse, he wore a flowing cape that trailed behind him. He could most certainly be seen when there was a fog or mist rolling in. And if that wasn’t eerie enough, a gigantic black snake slithered around within the overgrown brush on those banks as well.

A huge snake, bigger than the one at the Memphis Zoo, more like the ones in National Geographic that swallowed whole villages. We were very mindful playing around Little River, because that snake snacked on little girls just for fun. Thank goodness Uncle Woody kept a vigilant eye on these dangers. He was a Navy man, trained for menacing assignments around U.S. waterways. And he always reminded us of these creatures that lived only a few cartwheels from the back door, especially at bedtime. We often spent the night with our cousin Lesa.

As masterful as Uncle Woody was at weaving together a hypnotic tale, Aunt Lavern was just as skillful whipping up a luscious banana pudding or chicken pot pie in the kitchen. Both could make your heart skip a beat. Who wouldn’t want to fritter away time there? Snake or no snake.

Johnson cousins
Talya, Lesa, Staci
Cousins:)

We played on the Little River ditch banks, building forts and making trails. We stayed out there all day until supper time, coming home with sunburns and cockleburs. On Sunday afternoons, we often hid down inside the weeds around the water, watching a group being baptized in the muddy water. One by one these sinners waded into the mucky water. No way would I go in there! Plus, did these folks not know about the SNAKE?  This was Little River for heaven’s sake, not the River Jordan! This was not the way we did it at Brinkley Chapel just down the road.

We sat and watched, silently mesmerized. These people seemed to speak a completely different language. Were they speaking in tongues? We read about that in Sunday School, but we didn’t partake at our church. Maybe we should – it would certainly shake things up a bit. In fact, maybe these people were snake handlers… Hmmmm. That would explain a lot. Sometimes we accidentally giggled and rustled the underbrush. I’m sure they spied us in the tall grass, and said a prayer for the little heathen barefoot girls with cherry Kool-aid mustaches. Aunt Lavern would eventually discover us over by the bridge and shoo us into some more appropriate activity, leaving these people to their sin washing in peace.

Aunt Lavern

The Johnson family has always gathered at Little River for reunions. Cousins and babies and aunts and uncles make their way back to that little spot between Athelstan and Carroll’s Corner to visit and eat and laugh and hug and sing and talkandtalkandtalkandtalk. The Johnsons are a talking, eating, hugging, singing bunch of people. They drive in from Missouri and Texas and Louisiana and just down the road. Uncle Woody died years ago and sadly, Aunt Lavern passed away recently. Will this tradition change? I know she would still want everyone to gather at the river. At her house. Just watch for the headless horseman. And the black snake.


Aunt Lavern’s Chicken Pot Pie
1 can cream of potato soup
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can of veg-all (mixed veggies) drained – about 16 oz
1/4 c milk
Thyme, salt, pepper to taste (or whatever seasoning you like)
3 cooked and chopped chicken breasts (or leftover turkey) 
One package Pillsbury pie crust (2 crusts to a pkg folded) or homemade pie crusts


Chicken Pot Pie

Mix all ingredients and pour into one crust. Fold other crust on top. Vent top with a few knife cuts or use a pie bird. Bake at 350 degrees for approx 1 hour 15 min until brown and bubbly.

 
Note: I always make this with leftover turkey after Thanksgiving. The turkey is well seasoned already which makes the pot pie flavorful. Also, I usually have leftover roasted veggies of some sort to use instead of Veg-All. Carrots, parsnips, potatoes, anything will work well. I prefer to buy the creamy potato/leek soup at Whole Foods, but any “cream of” soup…. celery, mushroom, etc, will work. And to save time you can use one of those roasted chickens from the grocery store (if it isn’t Thanksgiving). This freezes well. I usually make 2 and freeze one. Also, you can leave out the meat and add additional veggies for a vegetarian pot pie. 


talya

Grace Grits and Gardening
Farm. Food. Garden. Life.

Musical Pairings:

Alison Krause, “Down to the River to Pray”

“The preacher says all my sins is warshed away, including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo.” Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

Lisa Marie had a PONY!

March 26, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner

Graceland

I so wanted to be Lisa Marie Presley. Growing up near Memphis, Elvis was local royalty, adored by all. People flocked to Graceland hoping to catch a glimpse of The King. He had been known to toss diamond rings over the iron gates like Mardi Gras beads to passersby. We would have been thrilled to see anyone walking around on the front stoop – a gardener, the pest control man – anyone with access within those hallowed inner walls surrounding the estate. 

Lisa Marie’s TV room.
When Lisa Marie was born, we eagerly soaked up all the available news like crazed stalkers. Although mostly shielded from the public, the newspaper occasionally threw the adoring fans a bone and published a rare photo of Lisa Marie riding her pony in the backyard at Graceland. She had her own pony. Driving by Graceland on the way to the zoo or the Pink Palace Museum, I tried to imagine which bedroom would have been mine had I been born to Elvis and Priscilla instead of Thomas and Barbara? Lisa Marie was the luckiest girl, I didn’t know.

Backside of Graceland

There was a big, kidney-shaped swimming pool in the backyard of Graceland, which didn’t much compare to our plastic one, filled to the rim with rusty cold water from the hose. The well water sometimes turned our hair and clothes orange, matching our cool shag carpet. Although we had John Deere tractors, Lisa Marie had her own plane. What a charmed life!
Underbelly of the Lisa Marie
As a toddler, Elvis took L-Marie on that plane to see snow in Colorado. Like we didn’t have snow? As a child growing up before global warming, we enjoyed deep snowfalls each winter, dismissing school for weeks at a time, a definite benefit to country living. Did Lisa Marie even have to attend school? Regardless, being a farm girl with a life revolving around weather conditions, I knew good and well the massive weather fronts affecting Northeast Arkansas traveled smooth across the Mississippi River and straight into Memphis over Graceland. We were only a few miles apart as the crow flies. Who was Elvis trying to fool? Memphis and Graceland and Lisa Marie got the same exact snowfall we received. And it made for perfectly delicious snow cream. If I had a plane instead of a tractor, I would go to the beach!
I was convinced that someday lucky Lisa Marie would meet and marry my heartthrob Donny Osmond. She was just that lucky. Each night I gazed at my OhSoCute, life-sized poster of Donny taped to the bedroom closet door. He was wearing a white sequined jumpsuit, much like the one Elvis wore during Live from Las Vegas, only smaller. Seeing Donny O in concert was THE highlight of my pre-teen life. Driving past Graceland on the way to the show, I happily waved to Lisa Marie in case she was looking out my window. In truth, I suspected she was already backstage with Donny.

After Elvis died, I felt so sad for her. Graceland became circus-like as did my hometown. Most of the ladies in Keiser had tickets to Elvis’ upcoming concert which never happened. Did Lisa Marie even have a real home anymore? Maybe she could stay at our house? We practically had a jungle room. 
I don’t know if Lisa Marie ever met Donny Osmond, maybe on Dancing with the Stars? Of course she totally blew whatever chance she had with him when she married Michael Jackson. What on earth was she thinking?  If Elvis is in that grave by the Graceland swimming pool, I know he rolled over a few times when that happened.

Thank goodness for unanswered prayers. Turns out I’m the one with the charmed life.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

talya

Elvis, “All Shook Up”
Donny Osmond, “Puppy Love”

“Elvis was the king. No doubt about it. People like myself, Mick Jagger and all the others only followed in his footsteps.” 
-Rod Stewart 

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Hi! I'm Talya Tate Boerner. Writer, Reader, Arkansas Master Naturalist / Master Gardener, Author of

THE ACCIDENTAL SALVATION OF GRACIE LEE (2016)

GENE, EVERYWHERE: a life-changing visit from my father-in-law (2020)

BERNICE RUNS AWAY (2022)

THE THIRD ACT OF THEO GRUENE (coming 2025)

Recent Ramblings:

  • Sunday Letter: 11.23.25
  • Maggie and Miss Ladybug: My New Children’s Nature Book
  • Sunday Letter: November 9, 2025
  • Sunday Letter: Oct 26, 2025
  • Sunday Letter: Oct 5, 2025

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