Humor - grace grits and gardening

Use it or Lose it. Ohm….

April 23, 2014 By Talya Tate Boerner

Use it or lose it. That’s how the saying goes, right? Well I’m here to tell you, IT’S TRUE. For me, anyway.

Lately, I’ve been lax with yoga classes. Oh sure, I wear my yoga pants all over the house and through the neighborhood. This week I even wore them to…wait for it…

yoga!

In fact, I went to yoga two-days-in-a-row, three if I go today, but since I probably won’t, I’ll leave it at two. It’s not that I don’t love yoga, because I do. I’ve let travel and writing interrupt my routine, and I hate that.

I’ve lost core strength, and I really hate that.

Yoga works areas of the body and mind not used with other forms of exercises. So any minute now I expect my brain to slip-slide away along with my ability to do an average plank.

During day one of my two-days-in-a-row, I discovered core strength was not the only thing I’d lost during my lackadaisical period. My mat had disappeared from the corner where it had no doubt begun to collect dust. (Students leave their mats instead of dragging them to and from class…)

I checked with the instructor who helped me search everywhere. Maybe it vaporized from lack of use.

I’m gonna miss my cool Lululemon mat. We’d been in a lot of surprising places together.

I hope she will turn up, but I realize that’s what I get for being such a slacker.

Lululemon

Grace Grits and Gardening

Farm. Food. Garden. Life.

Musical Pairing:

The Slackers: Close My Eyes

Where the heck are my genie powers?

April 15, 2014 By Talya Tate Boerner

DANG IT’S COLD! For one day and one day only (thank goodness) spring has disappeared from the Ozark Mountains and winter has returned. Rude this time of year, don’t you agree?

This morning I am trying to summon the will to unbury myself from my cozy, warm bed. The coffee pot in my Dairy Hollow room is waaaaaaaaay over there. See it sitting on top of that little refrigerator?

Between here and there spreads several feet of icy concrete. And my feet are bare. If only I had genie powers…

As a kid, if someone granted me one wish and I could have been anyone—real, imagined, dead, alive, rich, famous—anyone, I would have chosen Jeannie, from the 1970s sitcom I Dream of Jeannie. I loved everything about her. The way her blonde ponytail bounced when she blinked and performed magic, her dreamy outfit that showed off her curvy body, her super groovy bottle decorated inside like…well, like a genie’s bedroom should be decorated with poofy pillows and sheer fabric and low lighting.

And Major Nelson? ohh la la. He was cute before he became an evil oil baron.

Alas I am not Jeannie, and I must make my own magic. Right now I’m gonna make coffee.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Grace Grits and Gardening

Musical Pairing:

I Dream of Jeannie

“Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The Difference Between YOU and ME.

April 4, 2014 By Talya Tate Boerner

You: There’s a strange car parked in front of our house. The man inside is typing on his iPad. And I saw another strange car this morning when I was working in the yard.

Me: Oooooooh! Maybe we won the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. I bet they are about to come to our front door with one of those giant checks for a bazillion dollars.

You: Or maybe you upset someone when you wrote about those apartments on the corner. Someone is casing our house, probably planning to burn it down.

Me: You think?

You: Yes.

Me: Nah… Probably Publisher’s Clearinghouse.

You: {insert head shake}

Me: {smiling}