I heard a bit of excellent news this week on ABC. In case you missed it, skinny jeans are bad for your health. Ok so how many millions of dollars did we non-skinny-jean-wearing-taxpayers dole out for this brilliant government study? I could have reported on skinny jean hazards for but a tiny fraction of the cost. According to Consumer Reports, skinny jeans can cause digestive and nerve problems, yeast infections, fertility issues and possibly blood clots. I’ll add to that list for free – what about other very real problems such as plunging into deep dark depression from being unable to get one fat thigh into them? Or the serious life trauma of lying on your bed, trying to squeeze into a pair of vintage slim cut jeans and getting a hanger stuck in the zipper? Or the real physical injury of catching your flabby underbelly skin in the zipper? Or, the permanently wounded self-esteem of finally squashing yourself in, but seeing the majority of your lower half overflow like a well stuffed Chipotle burrito. And then suspecting you cracked a rib in the process.
The Gap sells an ‘Always Skinny Lightweight Low-Rise Skimmer Stretch Jean”. Its advertised as extra skinny through the hip and thigh with a skinny leg opening. It comes in size 20. Is this not oxymoronic?
Skinny jeans really only work on the very young ultra thin naturally anoxeric waif types who have not sprouted the hips necessary to birth 8+ pound babies.
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| When I could wear skinny jeans (My Jan Brady years) |
I do most of my shopping in Kelsey’s closet. She moved to Washington DC, leaving behind all sorts of cool treasures from her college life that she either has no room for or doesn’t want for whatever reason. Maybe the clothes aren’t skinny enough? In addition to clothes, it’s like having a mini-CVS in the house. Sometimes I run in there to look for nail polish remover or body lotion when I’m fresh out. I scored a Michael Kors purse and cute pair of skinny jeans a while back. Once in a blue moon in the early morning hours, I can actually wear these skinny jeans, but by nightfall I must resort to lamaze breathing to make it through my pizza. Pizza and skinny jeans do not pair well together.
Sooner or later we will all be wearing bell bottoms and sporting big-haired perms again. Skinny jeans will be an ugly, uncomfortable thing from the past like shoulder pads. And I don’t need Dr. Oz to tell me this.Oh, by the way, stiletto heels are bad for the feet as well.
talya
Musical Pairings:
Queen, “Fat Bottomed Girls”
Joe Nichols, “The Shape I’m In”
I’d rather see yoga pants myself! LOL
I can wear those:)
Loved this!!! It’s always good having a sister around to put a knee in your stomach and help you zip these babies up too….haha. I was in junior high at Keiser when bell bottoms were popular. We loved the pants with the largest bells appropriately named “elephant ears” (because of the way they looked like elephant ears when you walked). The good thing about “elephant ears” was that when you got tired of wearing them as pants, you could take the inside seams out of each leg, sew the legs together and have an interesting maxi skirt to wear.
I’m pretty sure the Keiser School history books listed Edra Lynn as the record holder for the jeans owner with the largest elephant ears. We would wait patiently each morning to see if she was going to wear those pants along with her one knot leather virgin bracelet and Jesus sandals. I don’t think she ever knew she set the dress code bar for all of us but she did with her refreshing poise and the confidence of an innocent beautiful young woman. Edra’s pants looked something like this:
http://i.tfcdn.com/img2/AJpiIWMAJYdtCkBgEAalHIdFfrmMNh5f4d12V2-O5YZIU9NMendZwiKs2JLZXVqiGGPRh9NPRc_HcL2zk3lQEJvBjUYFBEE2_JmX1UfTvK7BdukyaD4eXqwyPQ**/fyVMtP8A
What a pleasant surprise it was to find these listed at “The Find” for the low low price of $148. I know I have an attic and a couple of closets full of these…some even with embroidery. Well…better run….Spring cleaning commences…..plus I’m sure I’m going to need to learn the guidelines for selling on E-bay. : )
I think I remember seeing pics of Edra Lynn and her cool pants. We wanted to dress just like that!
Timmie, I do remember Edra in those wide leg pants and you and Debbie Little also.
Bring on the bell bottoms but please no big hair again! Been there, done that!
I agree – perms were bad!
Darn….just realized my picture didn’t load….so sorry you missed out….they were exquisite elephant ears.
Email the picture to me and I’ll download it on here:)
I remember those awful looking pants. I complained about them all the time. I also remember the style when we were Jr. High students. We wore shirts with a dozen petticoats. Oh how easy we forget…….
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