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No More Good Christian Cream Cheese

March 11, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner 5 Comments

Everyone’s in a huff about yet another moronic sounding tv show – GCB, based on the book by the same name (although un-abbreviated).  It’s being touted by ABC as the replacement dramedy show for Desperate Housewives, which I quit watching many seasons ago when Susan turned out to be such an idiot. If not for Dallas Mavericks basketball, Top Chef and Modern Family, I could donate my television to the good Christians at First Baptist Church.

GCB was filmed three streets from our home on Swiss Avenue, although the setting is reportedly Highland Park. Film crews are likely not allowed within the Highland Park bubble, forcing them to shoot over in our hood. This is mildly interesting, but not enough to make me tune in and donate and hour of my life each week.  However, in the spirit of being a good Christian b!#@h myself on occasion, I offer a few brief observations.  

First of all, doesn’t Kraft Foods, which pulled its advertisement, realize those good Christian women comprise a major market segment of Philly cream cheese purchasers? Those WMU women deliver cherry cream cheese pies and spinach artichoke dip to the ill and survivors of the dearly departed all over the South on a daily basis. They thrive on it. They have funeral phone trees. Its part of their mission, taught in Sunday school classes at an early age. 

Secondly, did the ABC producers, bless their hearts, really think that abbreviating the show name would fool anyone? Or keep the title from offending anyone? 

Thirdly, even though I haven’t seen it, I’m sure botoxed lips and Big D bleached hair are plentiful in GCB. That tired ratty theme has been beat to a pulp. Can’t the creative heads come up with some new and exciting trainwreck? How about Fine Scientologist [email protected]#d$? Now that’s a captivating title for a new hit show if ever there was one. All the good Christian bi#@h$ would watch it for sure. When pray tell does that premiere?

talya

Musical Pairings:

Crosby, Stills & Nash, “Teach Your Children Well”
Barenaked Ladies, “If I Had $1,000,000”

“I mean why would anybody in their right mind leave Dallas for Southern California? We’ve got the same weather without the liberals.” (Gigi in GCB)

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Dallas, Swiss Avenue

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Comments

  1. Jenny says

    March 11, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    I totally watched the premier just to see if I recognized anything! I knew it was Swiss Avenue from the start, but I did wonder what GCB stood for. Now I know! After watching, I’m pretty sure I won’t be telling people in CO that I’m from Dallas! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  2. Grace grits garden says

    March 11, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    Somehow we missed that book:)

    Reply
  3. courtneysmum says

    March 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    I’m still out of the loop, are you saying GCB stands for good Christian beeaches??? Seriously? Ive wondered for weeks on end what the heck the letters stood and then decided it must be some form of Texas kbg but women in the starring role. Oh my!

    Reply
    • grace grits and gardening says

      March 12, 2012 at 1:24 am

      Yes Good Christian Beeaches. Ha.

      Reply
  4. Anonymous says

    March 12, 2012 at 6:21 am

    Typical Dallas and the fake bible belt. It totally fits.

    Reply

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Talya Tate Boerner


Hi! I'm Talya. Writer, Reader, Arkansas Master Naturalist / Master Gardener, Author of

THE ACCIDENTAL SALVATION OF GRACIE LEE (2016)

GENE, EVERYWHERE: a life-changing visit from my father-in-law (2020)

BERNICE RUNS AWAY (Now Available!)

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