Fayetteville - grace grits and gardening

Do these lip enhancements make my butt look smaller??

May 10, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner

Why on earth do women plump up their lips larger than their noses? Does anyone think it looks natural or youthful? Against my better judgment I went to the mall to buy my favorite body lotion. In and out. Ten minutes max.
The parking lot was packed like Black Friday, mid-week, mid-day. The Dallas economy is booming. I really like this lotion.

One-third of the women I walked passed had enormous fake Angelina lips. Why? Was there a tracker-jacker nest within Northpark? Dallas must be the inflated lip capitol of the world, next to LA. In 10 days, I saw no one in Fayetteville sporting this craziness. (In fairness, I only visited Sherwin Williams, Sonic and Home Depot…) In Dallas, I see 10 people in 10 minutes with this obsession. But these lips can be spotted at the Dallas Home Depot and Sherwin Williams I feel certain.

This looks about as natural to me as those Dancing with the Stars spray on tans.

Men, are these lips luscious and kissable? Or scary?

Do engorged lips look young when the rest of your body is 50+? Do lip injections lead to turkey neck surgery down the road? I just don’t get it.

talya

Musical Pairings:

Adam Ant, “Plastic Surgery”
Sixpence None the Richer, “Kiss Me”

Adventures with Aunt Virgie

May 8, 2012 By Talya Tate Boerner

Aunt Virgie lived at the end of Johnson Road at Carrolls Corner just past Athelstan. The house was tiny, the ceilings slung low, the outside was covered in old asbestos siding—just like our recently purchased Fayetteville house. In fact, our new house reminds me of Aunt Virgie’s house, which is probably one of the reasons I was drawn to it.

Sometimes I think I channel Aunt Virgie…

Fayetteville Cottage

As kids we often slept at her house which was always a great adventure, a bit like camping. Aunt Virgie had no indoor plumbing… even in the 1970s. We thought her back yard outhouse near the chicken coop was THE coolest thing ever.

Using the bathroom outside in the dark was THE coolest thing ever.

I suggested to my husband that we might build an outhouse for our Fayetteville cottage. Since there is only one teeny bathroom (the size of our Dallas shower), an outhouse would be a brilliant time management tool! Especially since we are always working in the yard (no more tracking dirt into the house when we are digging and planting). And especially since I always have to pee.

It would be adorable tucked away in the wisteria beside our bamboo forest, maybe with one of those little half moon cut outs on the door. Just a one-holer and only used for number one, of course.

I’ll have to check with our friend and real estate agent Paula to see if this would hurt the re-sale value. But, this is the Ozarks… I think it would boost value… a 2 bedroom/1 bath + 1 holer….? Charming. And very eco-friendly.

Since Aunt Virgie had no running water, she had a pump outside the kitchen door. We took turns pumping buckets of water for her, avoiding the fat rooster that terrorized us and her chickens. That water was always cold and clear—the best tasting water—and we drank it out of a long-handled dipper. After she died, I wondered about that dipper. I hope someone in the family kept it.

In that tiny kitchen with the 50s style formica dinette and authentic tin pie safe, she baked the most fabulous pie crust for us as a special treat. She rolled out her dough, cut it into strips and baked it. We ate those strips of flaky crust straight out of the oven with nothing on it. If I could do one thing over again, I would watch and learn how she made that pie crust. I still haven’t perfected mine, but I’m working on it.

talya

The original 12 Johnsons
1960’s Johnson reunion.
Uncle’s- Ervin, Roy, Woody, Grandpa, Earl, JB, Land, Claris. Aunts- Ruby, Essell, Frances (my Nana), Rena and Virgie

Musical Pairings:

Alison Krauss, “Down to the River to Pray”