We went to the Osceola Public Library for a quickie wi-fi adventure. The lady on duty checked my driver’s license and assigned us to study carrel 10. It was the only vacant one. She insisted we sit in the carrel, as if she was responsible for filling all the seats on the Tilt-a-Whirl before starting the ride.

Me: Can’t we just sit at one of the reading tables?

Library Lady: The internet doesn’t work there.  (Four yards away??)

Me: (Puzzled. Shouldn’t it work everywhere inside the library?)

Ignoring her direction, Taylor and I spread our things on the reading table, excited to soon connect with the outside world. Several networks popped up, all locked. Having spent time at this library before, I knew the drill although it does vary slightly with each visit.

Back to the front desk:

Me: Which network is the library? (Showing her my screen. There were several options.)

Library Lady: (Reading from a secret hidden paper beneath the counter.) It’s 877456566.

Me: (Puzzled. Again.) Isn’t that the password? First, I need to know which is the library network.

Library Lady: Well, they haven’t told me that yet. 

Me: So do you think one of these might be the library?

Library Lady: Probably the AT&T one. Yes AT&T. Maybe. (She was becoming flustered.)

It wasn’t the AT&T one. At least not with those secret numbers she gave me.

Me: That wasn’t the right network. (My head was beginning to spin.)

Library Lady: Look you really need to sit in carrel 10 for it to work. (Getting a bit snippity.)

Me: Why?

Library Lady: I don’t know. I’m just a part-timer.

Returning to the table with the secret numbers in my head, I tried every network including the dentist across the street. None of them worked. Just for grins, Taylor and I went to study carrel 10 to see if it was magical. Dangling inside was the hard wire to plug in for connection. The plug was larger than my MacBook Air. 

Avoiding the lady at the front who was beginning to look like a Sleestack, we left the library undetected. Driving slowly around town with my MacBook open in my lap, Taylor and I trolled for unsecure wi-fi. As Taylor occasionally announced, here’s one(!), I pulled over attempting to connect. I thought someone on Hale Street might have an unsecure network. No. We thought the Catholic Charities might be generous enough to share. Nope. Secure. The entire town of Osceola is amazingly secure. Or completely without.

Finally, the manager of the Days Inn generously allowed us to use the motel’s free wi-fi as we loitered in the lobby. It was very nice and clean and comfortable. Taylor downloaded her book and I published a blog about Chatty Cathy.

We returned to the Bat Cave feeling like we had just survived a rickety ride on a Tilt-a-Whirl.