grace grits and gardening

ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

Land of the Lost

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Taylor (my niece) and I were having severe internet withdrawal yesterday. She needed to download a book for her Kindle and I needed to blog. Temporarily living in the Land of the Lost, we are lucky to even get television reception.

We went to the Osceola Public Library for a quickie wi-fi adventure. The lady on duty checked my driver’s license and assigned us to study carrel 10. It was the only vacant one. She insisted we sit in the carrel, as if she was responsible for filling all the seats on the Tilt-a-Whirl before starting the ride.
Me: Can’t we just sit at one of the reading tables?
Library Lady: The internet doesn’t work there.  (Four yards away??)
Me: (Puzzled. Shouldn’t it work everywhere inside the library?)
Ignoring her direction, Taylor and I spread our things on the reading table, excited to soon connect with the outside world. Several networks popped up, all locked. Having spent time at this library before, I knew the drill although it does vary slightly with each visit.
Back to the front desk:
Me: Which network is the library? (Showing her my screen. There were several options.)
Library Lady: (Reading from a secret hidden paper beneath the counter.) It’s 877456566.
Me: (Puzzled. Again.) Isn’t that the password? First, I need to know which is the library network.
Library Lady: Well, they haven’t told me that yet. 
Me: So do you think one of these might be the library?
Library Lady: Probably the AT&T one. Yes AT&T. Maybe. (She was becoming flustered.)
It wasn’t the AT&T one. At least not with those secret numbers she gave me.
Me: That wasn’t the right network. (My head was beginning to spin.)
Library Lady: Look you really need to sit in carrel 10 for it to work. (Getting a bit snippity.)
Me: Why?
Library Lady: I don’t know. I’m just a part-timer.
Returning to the table with the secret numbers in my head, I tried every network including the dentist across the street. None of them worked. Just for grins, Taylor and I went to study carrel 10 to see if it was magical. Dangling inside was the hard wire to plug in for connection. The plug was larger than my MacBook Air. 
Avoiding the lady at the front who was beginning to look like a Sleestack, we left the library undetected. Driving slowly around town with my MacBook open in my lap, Taylor and I trolled for unsecure wi-fi. As Taylor occasionally announced, here’s one(!), I pulled over attempting to connect. I thought someone on Hale Street might have an unsecure network. No. We thought the Catholic Charities might be generous enough to share. Nope. Secure. The entire town of Osceola is amazingly secure. Or completely without.

Osceola Days Inn
Free Internet + Biscuits and Gravy!
Finally, the manager of the Days Inn generously allowed us to use the motel’s free wi-fi as we loitered in the lobby. It was very nice and clean and comfortable. Taylor downloaded her book and I published a blog about Chatty Cathy.
We returned to the Bat Cave feeling like we had just survived a rickety ride on a Tilt-a-Whirl. 
Taylor partaking in free wi-fi @ Days Inn

talya

Musical Pairings:

Land of the Lost Theme Song

If you’ve been in the Land of the Lost that much longer than we have, you ought to know by now that not everything here is logical. Will Marshall, Land of the Lost

This Could Be Heaven or This Could Be Hell

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just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
a tale of a fateful trip
that started from the lake side cliffs
aboard this tiny ship. 

The lake is very, very low. This makes all the landmarks appear different. The cliffs are higher, the coves are shallower, the docks are shifted. This is our excuse anyway.

For years we had a cabin in a perfectly secluded cove past Buzzard’s Roost Marina. Before Buzzard’s Roost was a full service marina. We KNOW where Buzzard’s Roost is located on the lake. It’s a familiar spot we can find as easily as driving to Newcomb’s in Osceola.
After a morning of jumping from the cliffs, we boated over to Buzzard’s Roost for gas and ice. Just a short ride around a few coves. The sky was partly sunny. It was hot. Beautiful perfect long-awaited lake day.
Tate was a mighty sailing man, 
Nana crazy for sure. 
Five passengers set sail that day 
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour. 
Approaching the marina the sign prominently displayed in front said Blue Heaven Resort. WHAT? Suddenly the marina was moved or sold or renamed? Or we were lost? Surely not, but there were no gas pumps to be found. The buzzards circling overhead clearly identified we were in the correct place, or else they too were confused. 
Maybe the buzzards follow us due to the condition of our boat and the smell of our skin sizzling?
Slowly trolling while discussing this strange development and scanning the docks for pumps, Ms. Stalya came to a complete abrupt stop, as if we had hit rock bottom jolting the prop. And then she wouldn’t start. No sound. Rude silence. No ice. No water. Buzzards.  

A quick inspection of the motor revealed the ski rope harness had somehow become tangled in the motor, wrapping it tightly until choking it off. The harness, made of coated thick wire, would not budge.  And then, like a scene manufactured in the unnatural Hunger Games arena, a small black cloud appeared only over us. It instantly burst open pelting us with rain. Driving hard stinging rain, seemingly out of nowhere, drenching everything in the boat.
the weather started getting rough, 
the tiny ship was tossed, 
if not for the courage of the fearless crew 
the Stalya would be lost, the Stalya would be lost. 
Just as suddenly, Nana was wearing her purple flowered retro swim cap rendering everyone hysterical but keeping her hair dry. And we knew we would survive.
Surprisingly, we managed to untangle the rope harness from the motor, the boat miraculously started….again, the rain disappeared as quickly as it popped up, and we got the hell out of Blue Heaven cove. 
This was day one.
talya
Musical Pairings:
Skipper: Gilligan, why don’t you stop that. You don’t know anything about space.
Gilligan: I know one thing about it. You take up more of it than I do.
The Ms. Stalya and her namesakes
in MUCH younger days…

A Beautiful Mind

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Typical Tate Girl Conversation….

Momma: Did you bring that thing?
Me: What thing?
Momma: You know that thing we were talking about when that girl was here.
Staci: What girl?
Momma: You know that girl from town who works at that place over by that road next to the church whose husband graduated with Lesa who was talking about that thing for the lake. 
Me: When?
Momma: The other day.
Staci: Oh that girl.
Me: Her hair looks really cute these days.
Staci: I think so too.
Me: Yeah, I brought it.
Momma: Good.
Do you wonder if you have Alzheimer’s? Early onset? How early is early? When is it regular? Since I read Still Alice, I’m pretty sure my whole family has it. If we have it together, I guess we won’t even realize it.
Our conversations are often a combination of Charades and Taboo. Our most used words are thing and it. It covers everything.
We have a secret family language, finishing each other’s sentences with no proper nouns, very few adjectives and single syllable words and grunts. Like a secret twin language with hand gestures mixed in for emphasis. 
In contrast, my 91 year old mother-in-law can recall details with amazing clarity. She knows the value of each of her stocks to the penny and buys and sells when she sniffs out a good deal. She recommends stock to us along with the best deals at the grocery store. She doles out my father-in-law’s medication like a highly skilled pharmacist…half a pill at 10:00; one pill at lunch; two pills at 2:00; one and a half at supper; one after the first full moon. She never seems to struggle to find a word.

My father-in-law, at 90, has memory problems and repeats his favorite ten stories like an album soundtrack. WWII – when John was born – first driving experience – car wreck – new shoes….repeat….

The mind is an amazing thing.
talya
Musical Pairings:
When I’m Sixty-Four – The Beatles  (ok this is NOT that old….)

“At some point, there would simply be no point. ” – Lisa Genova, Still Alice


Food. Farm. Garden. Life.

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