grace grits and gardening

ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

Bat Signal

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My mother's Professional Grade Makeup Mirror

Traveling with my mother is entertaining….

Recently we traveled to Washington DC – my mother, her fifteen pound mirror and me. Heavy and onerous, the mirror nearly flattens the wheels on her rolling luggage. The luggage she cannot lift. 

Double-sided with circular lighting, you can view your face in natural light.  As if that’s helpful. It shines a beam into the heavens as though pointing the way to a nightclub grand opening. I truly expected Batman to appear outside our hotel room window. Professional spa grade, it magnifies pores, hairs, blood, atoms. It could be used to isolate cells, possibly curing cancer. But we have no time for such things.

In between visiting the sites of our nation’s capitol, my mother was busy receiving push notifications on her phone all day and night from her new friends at ChristianMingle.com, an online dating service with daily Bible verses and Christian dating tips…

Me: (asleep) Who is texting you so late?
Momma: Oh I got a flirt!
Me: Huh?
Momma: Oooh and I got a wink too!
Me: Huh?
Momma: From ChristianMingle. A flirt and a wink – that’s what they call possible matches.
Me: What’s the difference?
Momma: Who knows.
Me: Could you send them a bat signal and let them know we are asleep?
outside the White House
Kelsey (my daughter) & the BAT (Momma)

Fun, fun!  Really, it is:)

Grace Grits and Gardening

If you are new to my crazy life, click HERE to read why Momma is the BAT and our home the BAT Cave…

Musical Pairings:

Crazy, Gnarls Barkley


Sometimes it’s only madness that makes us what we are. – Batman

 

our trip

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this guy boarded right in front of me

one layover in Chicago
two cancelled flights
three gate changes
four glasses of wine
five flight delays
six pieces of gum
seven strolls around the airport
eight new friends
nine paragraphs written
ten text messages
eleven pages left in my book
twelve hours later

we landed in Washington DC
i hope our trip home today is better

talya

The Night Chicago Died – Paper Lace

Hell, which as every frequent traveler knows, is in Concourse D of O’Hare Airport.— Dave Barry.

Walking Distance

By

TateFarmGirl
Cotton
Mississippi County, Arkansas

I am a homebody. My idea of a vacation is driving through the state of Arkansas in my own vehicle. With the pillow from my bed, as much luggage as I want and a case of good wine. For later of course. 

Seeing the sights at my own pace is peaceful. Stopping to smell the flowers. Buying fruit at a roadside stand. Breathing fresh air. Relaxing.

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Dealing with airports is stressful. Traffic. Crowds. Delays. Rental Cars.

According to the FAA, I have too many gels and liquids to travel easily through the airport without a visit to dreaded baggage claim. At 50 years of age I’ve grown attached to my gels and liquids. 

My first ex-husband’s second wife had her tweezers confiscated at the security gate. Having a cool pair of Tweezerman tweezers impounded by a uni-browed security guard can start a trip off badly. If there is a way to make a viable bomb out of contact lens cleaner, perfume and tweezers, someone should certainly be able to make a cheaper, greener source of fuel for our SUVs.

I will be visiting my daughter and her boyfriend soon. Too far for me to drive…. If an unimaginative security guard wants to peek at my cellulite and panty lines in the x-ray equipment, fine by me. Just get me to the gate more quickly. It’s worth it to visit Kelsey and Andy. 
Kelsey & Andy
talya
Musical Pairings:
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. Stephen Wright

Food. Farm. Garden. Life.

THANKS FOR READING!