grace grits and gardening

ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

A Beautiful Mind

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Typical Tate Girl Conversation….

Momma: Did you bring that thing?
Me: What thing?
Momma: You know that thing we were talking about when that girl was here.
Staci: What girl?
Momma: You know that girl from town who works at that place over by that road next to the church whose husband graduated with Lesa who was talking about that thing for the lake. 
Me: When?
Momma: The other day.
Staci: Oh that girl.
Me: Her hair looks really cute these days.
Staci: I think so too.
Me: Yeah, I brought it.
Momma: Good.
Do you wonder if you have Alzheimer’s? Early onset? How early is early? When is it regular? Since I read Still Alice, I’m pretty sure my whole family has it. If we have it together, I guess we won’t even realize it.
Our conversations are often a combination of Charades and Taboo. Our most used words are thing and it. It covers everything.
We have a secret family language, finishing each other’s sentences with no proper nouns, very few adjectives and single syllable words and grunts. Like a secret twin language with hand gestures mixed in for emphasis. 
In contrast, my 91 year old mother-in-law can recall details with amazing clarity. She knows the value of each of her stocks to the penny and buys and sells when she sniffs out a good deal. She recommends stock to us along with the best deals at the grocery store. She doles out my father-in-law’s medication like a highly skilled pharmacist…half a pill at 10:00; one pill at lunch; two pills at 2:00; one and a half at supper; one after the first full moon. She never seems to struggle to find a word.

My father-in-law, at 90, has memory problems and repeats his favorite ten stories like an album soundtrack. WWII – when John was born – first driving experience – car wreck – new shoes….repeat….

The mind is an amazing thing.
talya
Musical Pairings:
When I’m Sixty-Four – The Beatles  (ok this is NOT that old….)

“At some point, there would simply be no point. ” – Lisa Genova, Still Alice


Built by Tom Tate

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In 1954, Daddy built this piece of furniture in high school shop class. Staci and I used it as our night stand for years and then it was Tate’s. Now it’s in our Fayetteville house.
It belongs back in Arkansas.
When I was in 9th grade, I decided to take shop instead of home ec. I thought I might build some furniture too.  Daddy ix-nayed this idea right away, saying you only want to take shop because Craig is in that class… I was forced to go straight to home ec with all the girls. Turned out to be pretty fun other than the sewing debacle. And I still managed to spend plenty of time with Craig…
Craig and Me 2011
That little night stand is sturdy and very well built with dove-tailed joints. He did a great job on it. In the back of the drawer, upside down and hidden, Daddy burned an inscription into the wood, Built By Tom Tate 1954. The inscription is only visible when the drawer is emptied and removed. The inscription itself is a treasure, written in Daddy’s hand.
The little drawer has held all sorts of trinkets beginning in 1962. During the past year, Tate’s room has been empty, but the little drawer still held his things. Things left behind. Some not touched in years. A time capsule from childhood through high school. Plastic ninja toys from Ci-Ci’s Pizza, his Harry Potter Halloween glasses, guitar pics, golf tees, boy scout badges, his lifeguard whistle, a Little People person… 

Now it’s empty and polished and sitting by our bed in Fayetteville. I’m not sure what will end up in it, but I know whenever I go, it’s going with me. Until it can’t.
talya
Musical Pairings:
I Love, Tom T Hall
Craig and Me 1966?

Happy un-Birthday!

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When my mother was expecting her first child, her due date was July 4th. But I waited around until July 10. It was the only time I’ve been the slightest bit tardy. And I wasn’t really late, I just needed my own day. I didn’t want to share with the entire nation.
July 10, 1965; 3 yrs old
Nana & Papa Creecy, Staci (3 mos)


My 5th birthday party was in our backyard playhouse. Everyone in attendance (Sara, Martha Ann, Anita, Lesa, Staci) brought their baby dolls for an old fashioned tea party. There were homemade invitations and treats. Momma tied long spiral-shaped pastel colored balloons to the weeping willow tree magically transforming the back yard. The tree was amazing. Life was amazing.
 
There were no spa treatments, italian cream cake balls, or hand painted magic wands. We played pin-the-tail on the donkey instead of riding live unicorns through the cotton field.

It was a simpler time.
 
And our birthday tradition – my sister always received one small gift on my birthday, and I on hers. An un-birthday present. Nana and Papa started this tradition because they could never just give one of us something. Momma often still does this…
 
On my 9th birthday we went to Memphis, ate pizza at Shakey’s, waved at Graceland, and rode the Memphis Queen. For those of you keeping up, this was the trip to the Pink Palace when Momma was nearly arrested for a moon rock incident. Her first run-in with the Memphis po-po.  (Moon rock story….)
Memphis Riverboat
 
Later, most of my birthdays were spent at the lake with candles in a slice of watermelon. We ate it on the dock in the sun with sticky juice dripping down our bathing suits. I’ve always preferred watermelon to most other foods, including cake. The only exception was Nana’s Fresh Strawberry Cake. If she came to the lake, I ate that with my watermelon.
Birthday at the lake 1975

 

I spent my 21st birthday in Tokyo during a Baylor summer abroad program. At a disco. In the Ginza. With new friends. A gift of flowers and chocolate and Kirin and karaoke. I missed my lake and my family and my watermelon…
 
On my 30th birthday, my first husband threw me a surprise birthday party. I don’t much like surprises. ESPECIALLY after having spent the Entire Day wallpapering a friend’s apartment. My friend who was InOnTheWholeThing, mentioned not word one to me… but had no problem letting me wallpaper her apartment before my party.

Would a true friend really allow this to happen???  Allow me to stroll back home completely surprised, to a house crammed full of friends, wearing my painting clothes with wallpaper glue in my hair?
 
I think not.
 
Today is my 50th birthday. I’ve decided my mother is the one who should celebrate. She did all the work, deserves the party. I am more excited on Kelsey’s birthday (December 13) and Tate’s birthday (May 18) than my own. Those are the days I celebrate. I worked especially hard on those birthdays… and the following days…
 
I think I’ll buy my momma a watermelon for her un-birthday. I wonder what Staci will get?
 
talya
 
Musical Pairings:
 
Birthday, The Beatles
 
“There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents … and only one for birthday presents, you know.” — Lewis Carroll, from Through the Looking Glass

Food. Farm. Garden. Life.

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