grace grits and gardening

ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

H is for Hot Flash

By

If you see me around the neighborhood appearing flushed or faint, don’t worry, don’t judge. I’m having a hot flash. 
Several times during the night, I wake drenched in tangled, saturated sheets with wringing wet hair. The fan blows full blast over my damp body doing little to cool me. John is frozen and motionless, wrapped in an extra blanket like a burrito.
Before the next hellish Dallas summer descends (in fifty-three days based on my estimation), I am determined to find a natural, healthy way to alleviate night sweats. Desperate for relief, John researched my affliction and discovered sage tea helps.

After an hour at the gym (exercise also helps…), I ran to my local grocery store in search of sage tea.

“How can I help you?” 

“Do you sell sage tea?” 

“Yes.” The young grocery employee handed me a canister of tea. “This brand is mixed with blackberries. Personally, I don’t like the taste of sage, but I like this tea because the blackberries make it fruity.” He flashed a wide smile. Was he flirting with me?

“Do you think the blackberries dilute the health benefits?”

“Not at all. You’re buying it for hot flashes, right?”

EXCUSE ME? Okay, I realized I had just left the gym, and I was working a nice endorphin glow, but…  “No, actually I love the taste of sage….,” I lied. “Okay yes, I’m buying it for hot flashes. Is it that obvious?”

“No, no I buy it for my mother, so I thought that might be the case,” His mother? I was NOT his mother’s age! Was I? He laughed and laughed and laughed...”It really helped her with hot flashes,” he continued, blah, blah, blah.

“Okay I’ll try it.” So you’ll stop your loud yammering… “Hey look,” I noticed pointing to the tea label, “apparently sage tea is also for wisdom. Something for both of us…” 

“Yes, ma’am!” He beamed.

talya
Musical Pairing:
Smooth, Santana featuring Rob Thomas

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Comments

  1. You, too, Talya. I’m suffering those glorious hot flashes,too. I’ve never heard of Sage Tea for a remedy. Must look for it. Even if it doesn’t work for the flashes,at least I’ll be wiser! Enjoyed your post. You zinged that clerk. Go, girl!

    Groovin to your music video!

  2. Okay, I had to laugh. Poor guy, he’s trying to make you happy and choosing all the wrong words!! LOLOL! I’m going to have to go find me some Sage Tea now…because I can’t stand night sweats! And while I don’t get them all the time, when I get them they are so miserable!

    Cheers, Jenn

  5. I understand exactly what you mean about waking up in a sweat and finding your husband all curled up with a quilt!
    The tea, I’m not sure I’ll get here but I am looking for alternatives and will let you know of any if I find them.

  10. Tayla,

    What a funny post. I enjoyed reading it. I could tell you a bit about hot flashes. They are horrible! You’re right, a fan doesn’t do much. And my husband is the same, all wrapped up and freezing he says.

    It finally got so embarrassing for me that I went on bioidentical hormone therapy. I was having at least two dozen of the episodes a day. I was sweating in places that I didn’t even know could sweat. Of course, I was a regular at the herb store, trying different solutions first, all to no avail. After four years, I had had enough, so tried the hormone therapy and it worked. I want to get off of it now though, so I will try the tea because I don’t think they are gone yet. But they are expensive and I’m not sure how good it is for you, even it is more natural than regular hormones.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier.

    Sunni

    http://sunni-survivinglife.blogspot.com/

  13. Hi Talya, that youngun was lucky you didn’t have a mood swing as well.
    Very funny post, I’ll be looking into sage tea as well. We just had a terribly hot summer this year, 40 degrees and humidity in the 90’s. The best thing was that no one could tell who was having a hot flash – everyone was sweating buckets.

  14. Talya, that was so funny and so sadly true. Nothing like thinking some ‘hot’ kid is flirting only to find out you remind him of his mother–happens to me all the time! LOL

  15. Oh how funny! You’re doing great if you can turn hot flashes into something to laugh about. I’m glad I’m through with all of that, but your post sure made me laugh. Good luck! I hope the tea helps. laurie

  19. Very cute, Talya. Boy can I relate to the hot flashes. Thanks for the tip on sage tea. Didn’t know that, but I don’t like Sage either. It may be in my essential oil blend I use for that purpose though. Enjoyed my visit from A to Z. God bless, Maria from Delight Directed Living

  20. Very cute post! Knock on wood, I don’t have hot flashes like that. I was waking up a lot and feeling very hot and sleeping so restless! I sleep much better if I don’t have any wine in the evening and a glass of milk before bed. Hope the sage tea helps!

  21. haha…This is Awesomely hilarious, Talya, mainly because of writing skills, but partly too because I can empathize since your household sounds a lot like mine, these days. At the beginning of my wife’s hot flash moments, and with a good sense of humor, she says she’s ‘power surging’…haha…and as a true Fantastic Four fan, I like to use the terms “Flame On” and “Flame Off” to describe those hot flash moments…to which she always laughs…so far…and thank goodness!=)

    • I find levity helpful also. I like F4 and use “flame on” all the time. I find myself walking through the mall and a heat wave begins. I dramatically flip my hands down and say “flame on”. The people walking by look at me weird and that just adds to my enjoyment. If I’m going to walk around looking like I just came in out of the rain, I can at least laugh through it.

  22. Hilarious post. Eating for a level blood sugar helped me. There’s a great book over here by Marilyn Glenville ‘Healthy eating for the m…….e’. Not that I’d know you understand.. tee hee.. Thankfully I’m years past that (went through mine in early 40’s) unless the stress levels rise..

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