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ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

Archives for 2012

50 Shades of Ridiculous

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just a quick update….

I am having a very difficult time reading 50 Shades of Grey. After all the hype, I jumped on the bandwagon afraid I was missing out on THE great summer read. So far I’ve been disappointed. Maybe because of all the talk, I expected too much?

It reminds me of my experience with Twilight. Although my friend Jenny and I loved the first book, we  laughed all the way through the movie while everyone else in the theatre seemed to be completely captivated by odd looking, sparkling vampires. Everyone knows that vampires DoNotSparkle. They just don’t.

Maybe I’m too quick to judge – I’ve only made it to page 145 of 50 Shades.But, it is full of laugh-out-loud cliches. How many times will Ana refer to her inner goddess?

Christian is way more creepy than hot. And apparently he’s too skinny as his pants hang on his hips every time he’s described, on every other page. Or maybe he needs to buy a smaller pant size? But, of course, his pants must accommodate his throbbing triple-extra-large-you-know-what… Pul-leaze.
Poor Ana is truly spineless and a completely unbelievable character. If she was a real person, I would be compelled to slap some sense into her empty head. Of course she would like that.
Apparently something is happening (or not happening) in our society causing women of all ages to queue up to buy this book like cheap crack cocaine. It’s a strange pop phenomenon.
What am I missing? Maybe I have no inner goddess.
talya



Musical Pairings:


Sex on Fire, Kings of Leon



 

Is it the size that counts?

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How small is too small? Could John and I possibly downsize from nearly 3,000 sf to 900 sf on a permanent basis? Without killing each other? There was a moment this week I thought he might suddenly pull a Katie Holmes and disappear the day before my 50th birthday. Poor Tom Cruise and me. Katie moved to Manhattan. I went for a walk and noticed an unmarked white van at the end of our block … Scientologists? Then I remembered we aren’t in that cult. All is well.



Being in Fayetteville is liberating, not being weighed down by stuff. Stuff we never use or see or need. But sometimes having that stuff tucked away in a closet is comforting. It’s there if we want it. Or need it. Once a year. Like the giant turkey roaster pan we use only on Thanksgiving. 

900 sf, two adults, two miniature schnauzers and one teeny bathroom. This is a challenge for a Southerner. In NYC it’s no big deal, but I doubt those people even know about a properly brined turkey.


I bet Katie’s new uber exclusive NYC home is huge.

But I need this…

Everything we bring into our Fayetteville house must be carefully considered, its merits debated as if we have decided to live in a Volkswagen. Could that square inch be utilized better another way? 


In Dallas, we really only use a few rooms in our house unless we have visitors. But our closets are crammed packed with clothes we never wear and things we don’t need. Because they can be.

Why on earth do we have so many sets of sheets? For a possible toga party? or to build a fort in the living room? 

I have three deviled egg platters. John hates deviled eggs. 

I see an incredible estate sale in the future. Maybe. Someday.


Unless we kill each other first.

talya


Musical Pairings:


Our House, Crosby Stills Nash & Young

Small rooms or dwellings discipline the mind, large ones weaken it. – Leonardo Da Vinci

Are we really leaving Dallas?

One Mav, Two Mav

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One Mav, Two Mav,
Green Mav, Blue Mav,
Ex-Mav, Blue Mav,
Old Mav, No Mav. 
This one had a little star.
This one left in his little car.
Say! What a lot of ex-Mavs there are. 

Yes. Some are here. Most are not.
Some are old and none are hot.
Some are sad and none are glad.
And some are very, very bad.
Why are they sad and old and bad?
I don’t know. Go ask your dad.
Some are tall and some are thin. The tall one has a pointy chin.
From there to here, from here to there, stupid things everywhere.

Here are some who like to run. They run for fun in the hot Dallas sun.
Oh me! Oh my!
Oh me! Oh my!
Cuban lets alot of stupid things go by.
Some go to Knicks some to Nets.
Some should come to Dallas I bet.
Where can Mark buy new Mavs?
I can’t say, but he’ll have
To go a long, long way.

We see them come.
But mainly they go.
Some are fast.
And some are slow.
All are high and
Cost a lot of dough.
Not one of them is like another.
Don’t as us why.
Go ask your mother.
 
The Mavs are gone. The Mavs were fun.
Maybe someday another one.
Every day, from here to there. Stupid things are everywhere.




talya


Musical Pairings:


It’s Over, Elvis Presley



Food. Farm. Garden. Life.

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