I get not one second of peace to enjoy my coffee until Lucy and Annabelle have walked, peed and pooped. Out the door we go first thing in the morning. I am a vision wearing whatever I throw on to stay warm – today it’s gray sweat pants, my Rivercrest Colts t-shirt underneath a sloppy navy sweatshirt, purple windbreaker, Ugg boots, dirty ponytail and no makeup. Lovely. Even though the sun is barely awake, I wear my sunglasses so that no one will recognize me and to hide my puffy morning eyes.
Immediately out the door I hear Debby Rogers call my name from her car. The dogs gave me away. She is off to work, looking like she just walked the runway at fashion week – her hair is always swingy and shiny. She sports those stylish glasses everyone, who is anyone, wears. And she’s clean. I’m sure of it. We briefly chatted before she drove off likely thinking, “Wow she’s really let herself go since she quit the bank”.
The dogs and I happily continue down the sidewalk, waving to John as he drives by and turns at the corner. He’s off to a doctor appointment and then to work. Somebody has to work. It’s a gorgeous winter morning in Dallas. I am reminded of my favorite Bible verse: “This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalms 118:24 King James. I prefer King James.
I stick my hands down into my pockets to keep them warm. They are full of stuff. Truly, I am not a packrat. I can easily discard things without a second thought. Strangely, I have managed to accumulate all sorts of little things in both my pockets. I feel around and identify plastic bags to pick up dog poop (proper city etiquette), a dry cleaners receipt (I must remember to pick up John’s shirts), a tiny sample of makeup from Newcomb’s (Estee Lauder Biscuit), my grocery list from yesterday (we were nearly starved), and a large package of Fruit Stripe gum, which I bought at the Wilson grocery store when my mother and I did a drive-by of Johnny Cash’s house in Dyess last week.
I should be on Let’s Make a Deal, but properly attired of course. Remember that show? Is it still on? Monty Hall made random deals such as cash to the maniacal audience member who could quickly produce a box of macaroni from her purse. Or a pink curler. Or a pair of socks. Or Fruit Stripe gum from Wilson… Wait a minute. Something did not feel quite right…? Something was missing! Where were my keys? I turned my pockets inside out on the corner in front of Harry’s house, which immediately became a super fun game to Lucy and Annabelle. My pockets had been so weighted, I had assumed my keys were inside. But I had Fruit Stripe Gum instead! And I didn’t have my iPhone. I always had my iPhone! It was my life line. Pitiful.
Quickly, the girls and I ran to Russell and Terri’s house – 4 houses down from ours. They were unlucky enough to be home – the car was in the drive. As I knocked, Lucy and Annabelle jumped at my feet smearing up their glass front door. I saw Russell inside on his iPad. He couldn’t hide. Plus he had to help me, he’s a preacher. He’s dedicated to helping those less fortunate. He took an oath or something. I thought about quickly turning my back to the door and smearing some of that Estee Lauder Biscuit on my face, but time was of the essence. Once John left the doctor, he would go to his office which was near the airport – far, far away.
Inside we go – Lucy and Annabelle running wildly all over the room with leashes swinging – so excited to be calling on a neighbor so early. What fun! And I looked like a haint in this getup I was wearing. I had coffee breath and had not yet brushed my teeth! I sure hoped he had not read the story of my brightening facial a couple of weeks ago. He would immediately know it did not work, and it was a total waste of money. I explained my pathetic situation, and he graciously set out to help me. (We do have GREAT neighbors!)
I could not remember John’s cell number to save my soul. It’s programmed on my iPhone so why clutter my head with those numbers? Russell handed Terri’s laptop to me but evidently when I am makeup-less, I am also computer illiterate. Finally I stumbled into Facebook and onto John’s page to see if his cell phone number was listed. Of course not. Who does that? (me) Ironically, the first thing that flashed on the crazy new Facebook timeline ticker was “Today is Russell Floyd’s birthday! Wish him a happy birthday!” Really? WhatWereTheOdds? So, I gushed over Russell, wishing him a happy birthday, trying to convince him that was the real reason for my early morning visit.
The dogs were rowdy, jumping on their clean furniture in their clean, dog-less, child-less home. This was the moment I experienced my first official day-time hot flash. Terri came into the room to remind Russell that she had a flight to catch. I think she was starting to get nervous that the dogs and I would be riding to DFW Airport with them to swing by John’s office, completely stinking up their clean car. Finally, Russell brilliantly sent John an email (I remembered his email address). And thank goodness, John headed back home to save me from myself.
At 8:15 I’ve already had a day. I think this afternoon I will make a pie from Nana’s recipe box – for Russell. Russell deserves pie! It’s his birthday. And southern girls always cook in times of need.
talya
Musical Pairings:
Alison Krauss & Gillian Welch, “I’ll Fly Away”
talya
Musical Pairings:
Alison Krauss & Gillian Welch, “I’ll Fly Away”
you’re adorable T!
What a day!! Hope the pie making goes well at least! 😉
Sounds like your week got off to a great start. Loved it; made me laugh out loud. theBAT
Love it..wish I could have been there…I’m sure there would have been much laughter!
High larious to me. Hope your day improved from here.
This was just too funny!!! Love it…
I am glad to be part of the story. We do have great neighbors. Who knows what who needs next. I am not worried about that outcome.
Russell
Oh my goodness! How long have you done this??? This is the first I’ve heard of it, but can’t wait to read all the others! Nearly spewed my DD coffee right on the old computer screen! You are hilarious! Love you, cuz!!! lmbo
Excellent!!!! You are so funny!!! Thank you for the picture and laugh! Gracie’s Mazie
“Plus he had to help me, he’s a preacher. He’s dedicated to helping those less fortunate. He took an oath or something.”
LOL!