grace grits and gardening

ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

Project Laundry

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After a fun-filled week at the lake, my niece and I are spending several days at my mother’s house in Osceola (aka the Bat Cave). After a week at the lake, the dirty laundry is piled high. Lake dirty. Sandy and damp and pre-mildewy. Sunday night after sorting everything into giant mounds, we began the task of washing clothes.
Two hours later over take-out pizza, we came to the sober realization the dryer wasn’t working properly – heating but not tumbling, the clothes steamy but still wet. The dryer is ancient so it was no wonder. But could there be a worse time for a breakdown? After a week at the lake…

Monday morning sporting my cleanest dirty shirt and shorts, I loaded up two enormous overflowing baskets of clothes and set out to find a laundromat in Osceola. It’s been years since I’ve been to a laundromat. College days maybe?
I found one fairly easily.  Unloading the baskets, I was already glowing from the early morning humidity. Trying to remain vigilant and acutely aware that the town’s landscape has changed drastically from my day, I had one of those moments. Those life-flashing-before-my-eyes moments. It happened when I realized the laundromat was wedged between the former Jr Food Mart we frequented as teenagers and the dilapidated abandoned Sonic we circled on summer nights in high school. I saw my younger self parked in my yellow Corvette, carefree, laughing and flirting with cute Osceola boys. Eating a #2 with tots before irritable bowel syndrome clamped my stomach like a vise. Back when Momma’s dryer was new.
Thirty-three years later at 7:15 a.m., I am unshowered and dragging smelly clothes baskets from my hail-ridden vehicle into the sauna-like laundromat. The super cool new Sonic sits on the edge of town holding no memories for me. My stomach is bloated from eating too much gluten… 
Inside, there was only one patron. Chatty Cathy. With several machines already humming and a load folded on the wooden table, she had obviously been there a while. We became instant friends bonded by no home appliances and reeking clothing. Taking me under her tatted wing she pointed out the best washing machines and which specific dryers to avoid. I became her project.
Chatty Cathy
Chatty Cathy: None of them dryers work very good. They only cost fifty cents but that won’t do nothing. You’ll be feeding quarters in all mornin’.
Sweaty Talya: (oh goodie.) Ok well I have a roll of quarters and one load is already partially dry so maybe it won’t be so bad.
Chatty Cathy: Nope. You’ll be needin all them quarters.
Sweaty Talya: (why oh why did I tell her about my whole roll of quarters? Stupid….)
Chatty Cathy: I only do laundry onct a month. That’s today.
Sweaty Talya: Once a month? Wow, you must have a lot of laundry.
Chatty Cathy: You know it girl. You from Texas? (she could read. I was wearing my Dallas Mavericks t-shirt for the third day in a row.)
Sweaty Talya: Yes, Dallas.
Chatty Cathy: DAL-LAS!!! Ya-hoo!!!(very very excited) Never been there but I was born in El Paso.
Sweaty Talya: Oh yeah? I’ve been there a few times.
Chatty Cathy: I don’t remember it. Moved when I was 3. Live in Luxora now. (hyena laughing here….)
Sweaty Talya:  Oh. Well I’m actually from Osceola. Just visiting my mom.
Chatty Cathy: Where’s she live?
Sweaty Talya: (oh like I’m gonna tell you.) Just down the road. Not far.
Chatty Cathy: Well that’s good.
Sweaty Talya: Did you graduate from Luxora High School? (did she graduate? please, please don’t say Rivercrest…)
Chatty Cathy: Nope. Caraway High School. Lived in Caraway then. (Lighting up a cigarette.)
Sweaty Talya: What year?
Chatty Cathy: 1980.
Sweaty Talya: (omg.) Really? Me too. (seriously? we are the same age???)
Chatty Cathy: WE DONE TURNED 50 THIS YEAR! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? (more hyena laughing with arms swinging overhead like doing the wave at a football game…)
Sweaty Talya: (hell) No I cannot. (I was shocked.)
Chatty Cathy: You don’t mind if I smoke do you, I should of axed you already.
Sweaty Talya: Of course not. (totally adding to the ambiance.)
I considered having a cigarette too at this point… but I remembered I don’t smoke.
Two and a half scorching hot hours later, I finished the laundry, drove straight to the super new Sonic for a Route 44 iced tea, very grateful for air conditioning and excellent dental care. Thankful for my life.
I suppose Chatty Cathy went back to Luxora.
interesting….
sweaty talya

Musical Pairing

If Heaven Ain’t A lot Like Dixie, Hank Williams, Jr.

50 Shades of Ridiculous

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just a quick update….

I am having a very difficult time reading 50 Shades of Grey. After all the hype, I jumped on the bandwagon afraid I was missing out on THE great summer read. So far I’ve been disappointed. Maybe because of all the talk, I expected too much?

It reminds me of my experience with Twilight. Although my friend Jenny and I loved the first book, we  laughed all the way through the movie while everyone else in the theatre seemed to be completely captivated by odd looking, sparkling vampires. Everyone knows that vampires DoNotSparkle. They just don’t.

Maybe I’m too quick to judge – I’ve only made it to page 145 of 50 Shades.But, it is full of laugh-out-loud cliches. How many times will Ana refer to her inner goddess?

Christian is way more creepy than hot. And apparently he’s too skinny as his pants hang on his hips every time he’s described, on every other page. Or maybe he needs to buy a smaller pant size? But, of course, his pants must accommodate his throbbing triple-extra-large-you-know-what… Pul-leaze.
Poor Ana is truly spineless and a completely unbelievable character. If she was a real person, I would be compelled to slap some sense into her empty head. Of course she would like that.
Apparently something is happening (or not happening) in our society causing women of all ages to queue up to buy this book like cheap crack cocaine. It’s a strange pop phenomenon.
What am I missing? Maybe I have no inner goddess.
talya



Musical Pairings:


Sex on Fire, Kings of Leon



 

One Mav, Two Mav

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One Mav, Two Mav,
Green Mav, Blue Mav,
Ex-Mav, Blue Mav,
Old Mav, No Mav. 
This one had a little star.
This one left in his little car.
Say! What a lot of ex-Mavs there are. 

Yes. Some are here. Most are not.
Some are old and none are hot.
Some are sad and none are glad.
And some are very, very bad.
Why are they sad and old and bad?
I don’t know. Go ask your dad.
Some are tall and some are thin. The tall one has a pointy chin.
From there to here, from here to there, stupid things everywhere.

Here are some who like to run. They run for fun in the hot Dallas sun.
Oh me! Oh my!
Oh me! Oh my!
Cuban lets alot of stupid things go by.
Some go to Knicks some to Nets.
Some should come to Dallas I bet.
Where can Mark buy new Mavs?
I can’t say, but he’ll have
To go a long, long way.

We see them come.
But mainly they go.
Some are fast.
And some are slow.
All are high and
Cost a lot of dough.
Not one of them is like another.
Don’t as us why.
Go ask your mother.
 
The Mavs are gone. The Mavs were fun.
Maybe someday another one.
Every day, from here to there. Stupid things are everywhere.




talya


Musical Pairings:


It’s Over, Elvis Presley



Food. Farm. Garden. Life.

THANKS FOR READING!