grace grits and gardening

ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

Seeing and Being Seen

By

Friday night.

John: Do you think we see ourselves as others do? John had just returned from an afternoon of 105 degree golfing…

Me: Absolutely not.

John: That’s what I was afraid of.

Me: Why do you ask?

John: Today at lunch I saw a guy having his 50th birthday party, and he looked so OLD! Then I thought that’s probably how I look too…

Me: No you still look good…

John: Well, you don’t look 50 either.

Me: Well I’m not. Not for 10 more days….

John: True.

I just finished reading The Elegance of the Hedgehog for book club. LOVED IT. It made me think about each person’s invisible side. That hidden part no one really sees. That part we automatically tuck away deep inside, out of fear or pain or some other reason.

Is there any other reason?

And we aren’t capable of seeing others clearly due to our own limitations. The stereotypes we buy into. Our prejudices and preconceived notions. We inadvertently assign roles to individuals based on job titles or skin color or neighborhoods.
This book was not a light, sinful 50ShadesofGrey beachy pina colada read. It is meant to be savored and read slowly, and re-read to really get it. The language pulled me in, made me think. It made me see.
I laughed out loud. But it was sad. And profound.
There was a two-and-half-page RANT about a misplaced comma. What’s not to love!?
It was about seeing and being seen.
talya

Musical Pairings:

Mozart’s Confutatis

“… they have never seen you … I would recognize you anywhere. ” 
― Muriel Barbery, The Elegance of the Hedgehog

Book Club

By

Finally, after 10 long years of wishing and hoping and thinking and praying and dreaming, I’ve been invited into the exclusive Munger Place Book Club. Through the years I’ve dropped innocent little hints about this nonchalantly with other club members, making sure they realize how much I LOVE to read. Hey Debby, I read the best book this week… Or, Sandy, what are you reading this month in your book club? (emphasis on ‘your’)

Smooth, I know.

Could they really not squeeze one more person into the fold? Someone who would bring wine and make homemade desserts or appetizers if requested. Or host for God’s sake.

I was forced to start my own book club with my former Lake Highland neighbors. We had been friends for years through marriages, divorces, childbirth, death of parents and neighborhood drug busts. It was great. We took turns hosting, sometimes meeting at my house while our Munger neighbors continued to gather and read all around us. Sometimes we met at a neighborhood restaurant or wine bar. Sometimes we actually read the books.

John and I are good neighbors. We have been good stewards of our home. We’ve improved it and try to keep our yard nice although we did have a bit of erosion in the front yard last winter. But we re-sodded, correcting this eyesore. John sometimes drinks too much at the neighborhood parties, but doesn’t everyone? We have hosted neighborhood porch parties and the New Year’s Crawl. We always help with the annual home tour. But still, it took 10 years to earn my way into this cloistered club. 

Munger book club chicks

I imagine the conversation was much like a sorority rush meeting as these women, my neighbors, friends, sat around discussing my merits and whether or not I was worthy for inclusion… She really does want to participate….She knows how to read…..She likes wine….I heard she is writing a book….

Just when we bought a house in Fayetteville and I am only in Dallas part-time, they invited me. And then I was out of town and missed the first two meetings… So now they probably think I’m a flake. But I will be attending the next one tonight. And I’m almost finished with the book, which I love!


It may be the only one I attend, a part-time flake is probably not allowed in the Munger Place Book Club. But at least I was asked.


MustGoFinishTheBookNow.


talya


Musical Pairings:

Who Wrote Holden Cauldfield?, Green Day
Wishing and Hoping, Dusty Springfield


Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin… but what good does that do me? – Homer Simpson

I knew this girl once who knew this girl….

By

We have a fabulous swimming pool but can only enjoy it between 9 and 10 pm, the small mosquito-less window that seems to occur well after the blistering sun goes down and before I’ve had too much wine to drink. All other times the backyard is either smothered in swarms of mosquitoes and/or it’s simply too hot to breath actual oxygen. Usually both.
Even with my body submerged, mosquitoes bite me on the face.
After a quick plunge into the pool after yoga – in mid day – I noticed a bite on my cheek (face)…. A red welt. Lovely.

A day later… still there.
Two days later….. there.
Three days later… it felt like a hard knot. Maybe it was a zit?
I messed with it. No zit.
And then I saw a spider sunning itself on the sill like it owned the bathroom.
A spider.
What if this bump on my cheek was no mosquito bite at all? What if a spider bit me while I slept and LAID EGGS IN MY FACE!!!
It could happen.
It happened to my college roommate’s sister’s best friend’s cousin in 1983. My roommate was adamant about it, completely freaked out that her sister’s best friend’s cousin had zillions of baby spiders hatch from her face and crawl into her eyes and through her hair. 
When I doubted this story and accidentally rolled my eyes, she became annoyed, insisting it happened. My roomie was sweet and beautiful and gullible. All the boys loved her… wanted to take care of her…. She was a city girl from Dallas. She really thought spiders would lay eggs inside a human….  Like something from Alien.
She also knew someone who knew someone who’s friend’s daughter was snatched from Wal-Mart while her mother stopped to read labels on peanut butter. The kid’s hair was cut and dyed in the dressing room in 2 minutes so they could sneak her out and sell her into slavery….
I was starting to think perhaps I shouldn’t hang with this girl. This girl who knew these other girls who knew people with such bad luck to experienced head dyeing kidnappers.
But today, when I studied this THING on my face, I wondered…
WHAT IF SHE WAS RIGHT?

talya

Musical Pairings:

I’ll Be There For You, Rembrandts

“To lift the spider’s curse, simply recite a Bible verse. Uh… Thou shalt not… Oh, the hell with it.” (Homer, throws a rock at the spider’s head.)  Homer Simpson

Food. Farm. Garden. Life.

THANKS FOR READING!