grace grits and gardening

ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Shopping Day

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I went to Northpark Mall in search of the perfect pair of jeans. My hairdresser Denise, who by her very profession is way hipper than I, told me of a place where they can size you up the moment you walk into the store. You will go home with the perfect pair of jeans, she said.

I should have never stepped foot inside.

My little voice, the one that’s always spot-on-right, warned me the moment I looked inside. The glare from jewel-encrusted jeans and size zero tank tops and t-shirts hurt my eyes. Row and rows and rows of bling-ed up clothing were crammed so tightly in the tiny shop, I could barely walk between the aisles. The pounding music, heavy on the base, nearly shook the racks of gaudy jewelry.

Clothing.Sensory.Overload.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad shopping day.

I wanted to move to Australia.

“What’s your jean style?” asked petite saleschild channeling Victoria Beckham at age 19.
“It might be easier for me to explain what isn’t my style. I don’t like bling or skinny or low-rise or weird stitching.”
“We have one style of mid-rise without any bling.” She pulled a bejeweled-pocketed pair from a stack nearby. “I know these are too busy for you, but can you try these on for fit before I bombard you with choices?”
Surprisingly, the jeans fit but the shredded fabric, bright white stitching everywhere, and crazy pockets were distracting. 
“How are they?”
“The fit is good, but I’d rather try the other ones, the ones without the bling…”
“Well, we don’t have this jean in any other style right now. But you could look on-line.”
Bombard me with what choices??? Waste of time…
“Oh we do have this same jean in a short. Are you wearing shorts yet this season?” She flipped out a pair of teeny weeny shorts no longer than the back pockets. I snorted.
“No I’m not wearing shorts yet this season.” I left my Daisy Dukes at the farm in 1979. 
“We do have one pair of high-rise jeans if you’d like to try them?” 
“High rise? I don’t wear high rise.” Do I?  Just then her co-worker suggested some other brand which would be perfect for me. Mid-rise and boring.
Fit.Like.A.Sausage.

I can't wear jeans that fit like a sausage!

I felt every one of my fifty-and-a-half years plus some.

I wanted to apparate straight from this dressing room to The Gap where I was considered Long and Lean before Long and Lean was discontinued…

Some days are just like this. Even in Australia.

talya

Grace Grits and Gardening
Farm. Food. Garden. Life.

Musical Pairing:

Lady Gaga, Born This Way

“I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day….Some days are like that. Even in Australia.”
― Judith Viorst, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Day is Done

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GBE2: Blog-on Writing Prompt #93 Tribute

Certain songs tap deep emotion. Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring by Bach is one such song for me. Played at weddings, I immediately tear up. And certain old hymns like Blessed Assurance and Amazing Grace flood me with memories.

One song that likely moves everyone is Taps, the haunting melody sounded at military funerals since 1891 and played at each wreath ceremony conducted daily at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

Yesterday we buried my father-in-law, Eugene H. “Gene” Boerner, Sr.

Gene was a member of Christ the King Catholic Church, a fourth-degree Knights of Columbus member and an Army veteran of World War II.
He was buried with full military honors including the playing of Taps. What a fitting tribute for a dedicated man who served his country, loved his family and lived his faith.
Godspeed Gene. All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.
John with Flag

talya

Musical Pairing:

Military Taps

While there are no official lyrics for Taps, the following unofficial verse (author unknown) is often used:

Fading light dims the sight,
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright.
From afar drawing nigh – Falls the night.

Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.

Then good night, peaceful night,
Till the light of the dawn shineth bright;
God is near, do not fear – Friend, good night.

Eugene H. “Gene” Boerner, Sr.
Nov 02, 1921 – Feb 22, 2013

Food. Farm. Garden. Life.

THANKS FOR READING!