grace grits and gardening

ramblings from an arkansas farm girl

Gloria Campos, Alexa Conomos and Me

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Saturday I went to the beauty shop for help with my Betty Draper hair. I say beauty shop because instead of my normal hair salon trim and highlights, my hair was curled and teased and ratted and encased in LOTS of hairspray. And to complete the look, a professional also painted on my 1960s eyeliner. 
Gloria Campos, Alexa Conomos and Me
most of my curls had already fallen by this time of night…

“Someone wants to see your hair.” The shampoo woman guided me to her shampoo bowl where a lady looked up with wet hair and said Oh I love it and are you going to a party, or something like that. We chatted a split second, but I didn’t say much because she was being shampooed and I was starstruck.

It was Gloria Campos.

Gloria Campos,Alexa Conomos and Me
Gloria Campos, WFAA

Gloria Campos is rather famous in the Dallas metroplex. For over twenty years she co-anchored the six p.m. news on WFAA Channel 8. Plus, twenty years ago we were both pregnant at the same time. She had twin boys. I had one. Without her knowledge, we’ve been bonded by pregnancy since that time.
Three days later, I went to my favorite neighborhood nail salon for a long overdue pedicure. There was one other customer. I saw her only from profile view. She was blessed with very long, lush, black eyelashes, maybe false? (I’ve been noticing eyelashes more since my Betty Draper eyeliner…) Then I heard her speak. 
It was Alexa Conomos, another long-time WFAA news anchor, the lady who made every crack-of-dawn-getting-ready-for-work-morning better for years.
Gloria Campos, Alexa Conomos and Me
Alexa Conomos, WFAA


Was it really Alexa? Probably not. I never really got a straight-on look. And she never noticed me, of course I was wearing a John Deere t-shirt which is only one step from camouflage.
“Was that Alexa Conomos?” I asked as soon left.
“Oh yes. You know Alexa?” Henry became animated.
“Of course! Everyone knows Alexa.”
In three days I ‘ran into’ two of the biggest Dallas news anchors. These random brushes with favorite, famous Dallasites has to mean something, right? 
a. I hang out in the best salons

b. They hang out in the best salons
c. We should be hanging out together.
d. They should be reading my blog.
e. All of the above. 

I choose ‘e’.

Maybe today I’ll run into Cynthia Izaguirre.

talya

Grace Grits and Gardening
Farm. Food. Garden. Life.

Words to Live By

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Setting: Expensive Dallas Hair Salon – Shampoo Room

Characters: 
Myrtle –shampoo lady
Lottie– shampoo lady
Me- customer with dark roots, referred to as ‘Baby’
I recently visited the hair salon for my ‘fall color’. The two shampoo ladies at this particular place always provide a side dose of extra entertainment along with much needed highlights. In case you missed the story of my prior visit, check out Turning Gay. 
On this particular visit when my shampoo time came, I ‘joined’ the following conversation already in process …

Myrtle – Girl he done kilt someone in prison too!
Lottie – NO HE DID NOT!
Myrtle– Oh yes he did. Only 25 years old too.
Lottie – Well he on his way straight to Hell. H E Double L. You do something like that and you going straight to Hell. No discussion.

Myrtle – Ummm hmmmm I know that’s right girl.

Lottie, to me – Baby you know that man we talkin’ about, don’t ya? He was on the news. That man that kilt that office manager and tried to kill his se-cu-tary too.
Me – Oh yes. Horrible. (I had no idea…)
Myrtle – People’s pitiful.
Lottie, to me – And Baby you can’t start trying when theys 9 years old. Its done over by then. You gotta start when theys little.
Me – You are so right.
Lottie, to me – If they act ignorant then you tell ’em to go sit down or get a switch or something. That’s what I did to mines. 
Myrtle – I know that’s right. 
Lottie – And now I gots 6 great-grand-babies.
Myrtle – She sho do. 
Lottie – I don’t know why it gotta be so cold in here. Myrtle you cold?
Myrtle – It’s a bit chilly.
Lottie, to me – Baby you cold?
Me – No I’m just getting a headache.

Lottie, to me – It’s sinuses I bet. Bad time for sinuses.

Me – No, I don’t think that’s it.

Lottie – Peoples stupid, killing someone in prison. Pitiful.
Myrtle – He just looked evil. You could tell.
Lottie, to me – Ok Baby. You all done. I’m gonna put an extra towel around your head. I don’t want you to catch a chill.

Me – Ok. (Please just suffocate me with it…)

Lottie, to me – I don’t know why it gotta be so cold in here.

Me – I don’t think its cold at all…

talya

Musical Pairing:

You Talk Too Much, Run DMC

“Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” – Johnny, Dirty Dancing

Turning Gay in Dallas

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Setting: Expensive Dallas Hair Salon – Shampoo Room
Characters: 
Myrtle – shampoo lady
Lottie – shampoo lady
Me – customer with dark roots
Ms. Bettye – customer with gray roots

gay

Myrtle:  How’re you today honey?
Me:  I’m good. How are you?
Myrtle: Thanking the good Lord to be alive.
Lottie: She’s crazy as ever.
Myrtle: Lottie you hush your mouth. Baby, you just sit right back and let Ms. Myrtle take good care of your hair.
Me: Ok.
shampoo ladies chatting during my shampoo….
Myrtle: Margarita lost that baby bless her heart.
Lottie: Oh girl no she didn’t!
Myrtle: Um-hm. Been bleedin’ all night.
Lottie: Bless her heart but she done got seven chil’ren.
Myrtle: Lord’s way of telling her.
Lottie: Poor chile.
Myrtle: Um-hm.
glancing to door…
Myrtle: You mean to tell me Joe’s done fell again?
Lottie: Oh lordy mercy I guess so.
Myrtle: That poor man.
Lottie: Um-hm.
Myrtle: Joe you done fell again?
Joe: Yup, using my old cane.
Together: Well bless your heart.
to Ms. Bettye being shampooed next to me….
Lottie: Ms. Bettye I looooove that necklace. What’s that stone?
Ms. Bettye: Oh Lottie, I don’t remember. I’ve had it for prob’ly forty years.
Lottie: Myrtle, you see this necklace?
Myrtle: (Myrtle drowning my head to look.) That is very beautiful Ms. Bettye.
Lottie: You driving again Ms. Bettye?
Ms. Bettye: Oh no, my friend drove me. We’ve been friends for forty years.
Lottie: Isn’t that nice.
Myrtle: Ms.Bettye, did you know Joe done fell again?
Ms. Bettye: Oh no. Bless his heart.
to each other during my rinse….
Lottie: You know Hector done turned gay.
Myrtle: No! How you know?
Lottie: Margarita tole me.
Myrtle: ‘fore she lost that baby?
Lottie: Yes ma’am. His wife done throw’d him out.
Myrtle: Lawsy what’s wrong with him?
Lottie: Don’t know. She said one day he was fine and the next day he turned gay right after work.
Myrtle: What’s this world comin’ to?
Lottie: Sinful.
Myrtle: Bless her heart.
Me: Coughing. Gagging.
wrapping up my wet head in a towel…
Myrtle: There you go honey. You all done now.
Me: Thank you. Myrtle, you know people don’t just turn gay. Right?
Silence. Pin dropping silence.
Me: Seriously. People don’t turn gay. It’s genetic. You either are or you aren’t.
Myrtle and Lottie exchange quick knowing looks.
Best friends and co-workers for fifty years, they share the same thoughts.
They have one mind.
Lottie: Honey chile’ I think Myrtle done got water up in your head.
Myrtle: What’s this world coming to?
Lottie: Sinful.
Myrtle: Bless your heart.

Laughing. Hysterical laughter. At me.

turning gay

Grace Grits and Gardening

Musical Pairings:
They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Napoleon XIV

Homer Simpson to Bart: He didn’t give you gay, did he? Did he?

Food. Farm. Garden. Life.

THANKS FOR READING!